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Oedipus

Oedipus

 Table of Contents

Oedipus's Wall

Wall

Mother's Day and Father's Day are both very confusing for me…

Eteocles

What about for your kids, Daddy-O? You're our dad and our half-brother. Jocasta is our mom and our grandma.

What about me? He's my nephew and brother-in-law.

Everything isn't about you, Creon.

Polyneices

It really is confusing. Like... are we supposed to get everybody two presents for Christmas?

We're ancient Greeks, idiot! We don't celebrate Christmas.

Ismene

Um... we don't celebrate Mother's Day or Father's Day either, do we?

Hmmm... that's true. Well, that's a relief.

Freud was full of crap.

Sigmund Freud

Was meinst du damit?

I'm from ancient Greece. What makes you think I speak German? Your people just spoke in grunts and groans when I walked the earth.

Sigmund Freud

You are writing in English.

Don't get smart with me.

Sigmund Freud

I am Sigmund Freud. It is my job to be smart.

Yeah, well what gives you the right to use my name to define your disgusting complex?

Sigmund Freud

To be honest, sir, I thought you were a fictional construct, representing the unconscious desire of all men to copulate with their mother and kill their father.

If that's true, then why doesn't everybody do what I did?

Sigmund Freud

There is rarely a literal manifestation of these desires.

Whatever, your theory is stupid. I didn't even know that Laius and Jocasta were my parents. If what you say is true, then shouldn't I have done the things I did to Polybus and Merope, who I thought were my real parents?

Sigmund Freud

The fact that you performed your actions unknowingly only proves my point that we are all driven by unconscious desires. There are imprints made on us from the moment of conception, which guide our actions. Our unconscious desires, dear Oedipus, are the true threads of fate.

Are you saying we're fictional, too, buddy?!

Sigmund Freud

Ich gebe auf.

If only every father had a daughter like Antigone, the world would be a better place.

Aw, thanks, Dad.

Ismene

What about me?!

Yeah, you're alright.

Eteocles

Hey, I was an awesome son, right?

Polyneices

Me too!

You two are the worst. When I stepped down from the throne, I trusted that the two of you would take care of Thebes. But noooooo... you had to start a civil war and kill each other.

Polyneices

It wasn't my fault! Eteocles refused to step down. We said we'd alternate every year.

Eteocles

You snooze you lose, bro.

I blame myself.

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