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Orpheus was the first ever rock star. He may not have an electric guitar, but you would not believe the things this guy can do on a lyre. Orpheus plays so beautifully that he can charm the pants off of anybody—mortals, gods, animals, trees, rocks—you name it. And not only is Orpheus a fabulous musician, but he's a hero to boot. He went with Jason and the Argonauts on the Quest for the Golden Fleece, where he drowned out the Sirens with his amazing music. He also makes it on the very short list of heroes who managed to go down to the Underworld and make it out again (when he tried to rescue his wife, Eurydice). On top of all that, Orpheus is said to be the founder of the Orphic religious cult, which promised its followers a blessed afterlife. Rock star, hero, prophet—pretty much, Orpheus was the man.

Basic Information

NicknameKing of Charm, Music Man

Work & Education


General Duties: Charming everyone with my music, being awesome
EducationMt. Parnassus Musical Conservatory
I spent a semester abroad at Julliard


Political viewsFree love

Family & Friends (& Enemies)

ParentsMom: Calliope
Dad: Oeagrus (or maybe Apollo—that seems pretty fitting)
ChildrenNone. My one true love died much too early for children.
All my adoring fans
EnemiesDionysus (we're kind of frienemies, really)
The Maenads


Relationship statusMarried to Eurydice (death can't come between us)


Quotations"Music is love in search of a word."
– Sidney Lanier

"Hell is full of musical amateurs."
– George Bernard Shaw

"I don't care much about music. What I like is sounds."
– Dizzy Gillespie

"I don't know anything about music. In my line I don't have to."
– Elvis Presley

"After silence, that which comes closest to expressing the inexpressible is music."
– Aldous Huxley
Books"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. (Sonnet 43)" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
"The Handsomest Drowned Man in the World" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
"Bright Star, would I were stedfast as thou art" by John Keats
Orpheus Descending by Tennessee Williams
"Death, be not proud (Holy Sonnet 10)" by John Donne
Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
"Love Sonnet 17" by Pablo Neruda
"Song of Myself" by Walt Whitman
"The Return of the Chorb" by Vladimir Nabokov
MusicIt's not about individual songs for me. It's about the musician and who has the power to move me (and maybe animals and rocks) with their music.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
The Beatles
Bob Marley
Johannes Brahms
Bon Iver
John Coltrane
MoviesAlmost Famous
Don't Look Back
Black Orpheus
This Is Spinal Tap
Mr. Holland's Opus
Walk the Line
The Princess Bride
That Thing You Do!

Activities & Interests

Guitar Hero
Garage Band
Home Recording Equipment
Andean Pan Flute Bands
Summer Concert Season
ActivitiesFrolicking with my lovely wife
Charming everybody
Founding cults
Playing music (expert at every instrument ever)
Lyric Poetry
Underworld Exploration
GroupsMusic Lovers
Real Life Rock Stars
Dead Before Our Time
Orpheus Fan Club (Founder)

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