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Case File: Menelaus vs. Paris

Police Reports

Case Description: Complainant (Menelaus) accuses Defendant (Paris) of adultery and theft. Paris may have been promised Helen by Aphrodite, but her husband, Menelaus, definitely wasn't cool with his wife running off with the pretty boy Trojan. When the king of Sparta found out that his wife had taken off with Paris to Troy, Menelaus called up his brother Agamemnon, who led a gigantic army of Greeks against Paris's hometown.

Case Status: Case closed. To try to end the war quickly, Menelaus challenged Paris to single combat. Paris agreed, and Menelaus totally put the smack down on him. Just before Menelaus was about to finish the job, Aphrodite whisked Paris away from the battlefield. So the war kept going for ten years until Troy was in ruins, Paris was dead, and Menelaus was sailing his wife back to Sparta.

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