Die Heuning Pot Literature Guide
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Perseus's Wall

Wall

It's boring being dead.

You're hurting my feelings.

Dude, I was thinking we could start a Monday Night Fight Club or something. You know, spice things up a bit here in Hotel California?

The land of the dead isn't spicy enough for you yet? I can fix that.

No! I mean, it's totally spicy. Seriously. Spice-tastic. Thank you, Uncle Hades.

And don't call me dude.

How come Heracles was made immortal and not me?

Quit complaining.

But it's not fair.

You got a constellation named after you.

Oh, cool… a constellation.

Suck it up, son. Life's tough.

I'm way cooler than Heracles.

Quit your whining, puny mortal. I'm just better than you.

Yeah, for real, you chopped my head off while I was SLEEPING. Ooooh, sooo impressive.

How is life without a head, Medusa? Peachy?

Lucky for me, I'm a monster. I'll find you, Perseus. I WILL FIND YOU.

Percy, have you seen my sandals?

Which ones?

Ha ha.

Oh, you mean THOSE sandals. I completely forgot to give them back…

Andromeda

Hi, sugar muffin! It's a beautiful night tonight. Why don't you come home to the constellation?

Sweet lips! Maybe I will. Hades is boooo-rrrrrinng.

If you're going to complain about my realm, then you should change your privacy settings.

And by "boring," I mean AWESOME.

Sippin' on some immortals' nectar and thinking of you.

Go sit on a scorpion, Herc.

I would but I'm soooooo busy being immortal.

Doesn't a god have more important things to do than write on my wall? Oh, wait, I forgot! You're, like, THE LEAST most important god on Mount Olympus.

Watch it, P-Dawg.

Cetus

AHdghd agggggaAAh!

Sorry, Cetus, but I just don't speak sea monster.

Cetus

Jugug uaaaa!!!

For the love of Zeus, GET OFF my wall. I thought I got rid of you ages ago.

Allow me to translate for my poor, fallen son, Cetus: YOU GREASY FLYING MONKEY! YOU STOLE MY DINNER!!!

1) I bathe every day. 2) Watch out, seaweed brain. My wife is NOT a monster meal.

You killed my child!

That was a long time ago. Plus, he still seems to be able to use the internet. Get over it. And go back to your anger-management class already.

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