It's boring being dead.
You're hurting my feelings.
Dude, I was thinking we could start a Monday Night Fight Club or something. You know, spice things up a bit here in Hotel California?
The land of the dead isn't spicy enough for you yet? I can fix that.
No! I mean, it's totally spicy. Seriously. Spice-tastic. Thank you, Uncle Hades.
And don't call me dude.
How come Heracles was made immortal and not me?
But it's not fair.
You got a constellation named after you.
Oh, cool… a constellation.
Suck it up, son. Life's tough.
I'm way cooler than Heracles.
Quit your whining, puny mortal. I'm just better than you.
Yeah, for real, you chopped my head off while I was SLEEPING. Ooooh, sooo impressive.
How is life without a head, Medusa? Peachy?
Lucky for me, I'm a monster. I'll find you, Perseus. I WILL FIND YOU.
Percy, have you seen my sandals?
Oh, you mean THOSE sandals. I completely forgot to give them back…
Hi, sugar muffin! It's a beautiful night tonight. Why don't you come home to the constellation?
Sweet lips! Maybe I will. Hades is boooo-rrrrrinng.
If you're going to complain about my realm, then you should change your privacy settings.
And by "boring," I mean AWESOME.
Sippin' on some immortals' nectar and thinking of you.
Go sit on a scorpion, Herc.
I would but I'm soooooo busy being immortal.
Doesn't a god have more important things to do than write on my wall? Oh, wait, I forgot! You're, like, THE LEAST most important god on Mount Olympus.
Watch it, P-Dawg.
Sorry, Cetus, but I just don't speak sea monster.
For the love of Zeus, GET OFF my wall. I thought I got rid of you ages ago.
Allow me to translate for my poor, fallen son, Cetus: YOU GREASY FLYING MONKEY! YOU STOLE MY DINNER!!!
1) I bathe every day. 2) Watch out, seaweed brain. My wife is NOT a monster meal.
You killed my child!
That was a long time ago. Plus, he still seems to be able to use the internet. Get over it. And go back to your anger-management class already.