Book of Revelation
Book of Revelation Chapter 9 Summary
Do the Locust Commotion
- Now it's time to go after some humans.
- The fifth angel blows his horn and a bottomless pit opens up in the Earth.
- Out of the pit comes a whole swarm of terrifying locusts. They have human faces and hair, but teeth like lions, iron scales, and huge, creepy wings. How charming.
- The freaky locusts are told to leave the Elect alone (those folks with God's mark on their forehead). But they get the green light to go on and torture everyone else for a few months. Must have been awkward for the Elect.
My Little Apocalyptic Pony
- Once the locusts are done doing their thing, the sixth angel blows his trumpet. Guess what? More bad news for non-believers.
- Four angels of death are released. They're told to kill a third of the humans still living on Earth. At this point, maybe we should start calling these dead guys the lucky ones.
- Then about two hundred million horses storm the Earth. They have heads like lions and breathe smoke, fire, and sulfur. Their tails are like scorpions, because regular ponytails are just boring.
- They also kill a whole lot more people—another third, in fact.
- Probably the weirdest part of all of this is that the people that are left over still aren't convinced. They refuse to repent and put their faith in Jesus. Guys, what about fire-breathing death ponies do you not understand?