Romeo and Juliet
How we cite our quotes:
I conjure thee by Rosaline's bright eyes,
By her high forehead and her scarlet lip,
By her fine foot, straight leg and quivering thigh
And the demesnes that there adjacent lie,
That in thy likeness thou appear to us!
We managed to read this without blushing, but Mercutio is actually being pretty insulting here: he's breaking Rosaline down into parts like the popular poetic blazon http://www.ic.arizona.edu/ic/mcbride/ws200/renlyric.htm, but he's being dirty about it. The "demesnes" that like "adjacent" to her "quivering thigh" are her genitals. (Makes you wonder if the people assigning Romeo and Juliet in high school actually understand Shakespeare, doesn't it?)
If love be blind, love cannot hit the mark.
Now will he sit under a medlar tree,
And wish his mistress were that kind of fruit
As maids call medlars, when they laugh alone.
Romeo, that she were, O, that she were
An open et caetera, thou a poperin pear!
What, you don't get why this is funny? Let us explain: A "medlar" is a fruit that looks—to the Elizabethans, at least, like a certain body part—so much so, that they called it an "open-arse" (which would almost certainly have meant female genitalia, and not what we'd associated with "arse.") And then there's the "open et caetera," which means, well, an open vagina; and a "poperin pear," which sounds suspiciously like "pop-her-in." In other words, Mercutio wishes Romeo's mistress were sexually available to him.
Come, civil night,
Thou sober-suited matron, all in black,
And learn me how to lose a winning match,
Play'd for a pair of stainless maidenhoods:
Hood my unmann'd blood, bating in my cheeks,
With thy black mantle; till strange love, grown bold,
Think true love acted simple modesty.
Juliet is really looking forward to her honeymoon night with Romeo and she's not afraid to say so. Although she anticipates that night's darkness will hide her blushing "cheeks" (as well as the physical evidence—"blood"—of her virginity), she doesn't seem shy about spending the night with her husband.