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Work on your penmanship. The scorers never appreciated my buffalo scratch.

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Shmooge turned back to his bed and shrieked. There was a baby lying in the middle of the bed, sucking a pacifier and watching him with eerily adult-looking eyes. As he watched, the baby screwed up her mouth in a grimace as if preparing to spit, and the pacifier went flying across the room, landing with a plop in the corner.

“That thing was driving me crazy,” the baby spoke in a man’s baritone that almost made Shmooge shriek again. “Barry White,” the baby told him, as if reading his mind. “Yeah...

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