Choose Your Own Adventure
Choose Your Own Serqet Adventure
You are Serqet, Egyptian goddess of scorpions and protectress of the dead. It's morning. Lower Egypt is looking mighty fine. You:
call Isis. Go to FOUR.
go for a stroll. Go to TWELVE.
They definitely die. You feel pretty okay about this. Go to THREE.
That's taken care of. You get a call from Neith. You
answer it. Go to NINE.
ignore it. Go to TEN.
Isis is having a problem with Set. Set keeps trying to kill baby Horus. This is decidedly uncool. You tell her you'll be right over, then you
take a quick shower. Go to SEVEN.
run out the door and straight to Isis' place. Go to FIVE.
Isis leads you to the marsh where she's hidden Horus. You take turns with a couple of other goddesses, keeping watch over the wee baby while he stays hidden in the reeds. The baby is so well protected that Set can't get close. Baby Horus is safe! Hooray! Go to THREE.
They're still freaked out. You
give them a chill-out potion. Go to THREE.
let the scorpions sting them. That'll teach them to disrespect a goddess. Go to TWO.
Isis opens the door weeping. Horus was poisoned! You tell Isis to cry out to Ra. You know that he'll stop his sun boat to help you guys out. The two of you scream at the top of your lungs for him, and he comes down to scope out the situation. You tell him it looks like a snake bite. Ra helps you and Isis do some fancy magic. Horus is alive again! Hooray! Go to THREE.
You swear loudly and try to pull in the chain for another go, but Apep is too fast. Before you know it, the giant snake has swallowed up Ra. Apep's monster cronies make their move onto the deck, and there are dead souls everywhere. (Okay, there were already dead souls everywhere, but now they're dead dead souls. Super dead). Everything falls into chaos, and life totally sucks. You lose. :(
Unexpected Pharaoh death means you're working a double today. It's around noon. You send your scorpion entourage home to relax and you walk to the embalmer's. Kebehsenuef and Neith beat you there, but the other two are still en route and Isis is running late (needed to find a babysitter) so you feel like you made good time.
The embalmer removes all of the important organs and preps them for the jars. The lungs are in good shape, but the liver and intestines look a little droopy. Kebehsenuef liked this pharaoh, so you do him (and the deceased) a favor by mending the intestines a bit. He winks. Not a bad day.
You and your girls make sure the boys are all set with the jars and then you check the time. Almost sunset! You
go right to job #2. Go to ELEVEN
get some food first. Go to FOURTEEN.
Neith runs into you on the way to work and drags you with her. Go to NINE.
Time for work in the underworld. Ra's Sun Boat is full of the newly-departed, and Duat's especially dreary tonight. There are tons of monsters running around, and your fellow shipmates are busy slapping their grimy/slimy/furry hands away from the bow. You're not on shift until Gate 10, so you sit back with a coffee and try not to think about where they got the water to brew it.
You get to Gate 10. It's your job to tackle Apep (also known as Apophis), the Snake of Chaos. You've got your chain at the ready, and you're whirling it around like a lasso. Even though you do this every night, you've got a bad case of nervous stomach. You take a deep breath and let the chain fly. You
make it. Go to THIRTEEN.
miss. Go to EIGHT.
You run into a couple of mortals. Since you've got a mighty scorpion escort, they're pretty freaked out. One of them hides from you. You
are in a good mood today, so you laugh and try to reassure them that everything is cool. They're not terrible people, they're just scared. You get it. Go to SIX.
have had a rough morning, so you let the scorpions sting them. That'll teach them to disrespect a goddess. Go to TWO.
You hold on tight to the chain while the others do their thing. Ra's boat safely passes by. Another job well done. You win!
Mmmm, dinner's nice. Now you've gotta run to work! Go to ELEVEN.