[A woman in a long white gown and a golden collar and a man with a giant crocodile's head are sitting next to each other in soft chairs at the center of the studio. Behind them, images of the Nile and palm trees are projected across the wall.]
Interviewer: Hotep, everyone! This is Meri Ahmose, and you're watching Two Lands, One World. Every week, we bring you Egypt's latest news and celebrity gossip. This week, we have a very special guest. Straight from the Faiyum lake, the great god Sobek! Welcome to Two Lands, One World, mighty lord.
Sobek: Hotep, Meri Ahmose. It's a pleasure to be here and to meet with you to talk about our beautiful Two Lands.
Interviewer: I understand that even though you, uh, look pretty terrifying, that you're involved with ecology projects to protect our Nile and the creatures that live in it? Is that true?
Sobek: [his crocodile head blushes] Yes, I suppose you could say I'm a softie underneath. [He pokes at his belly and laughs. The audience also laughs.] There are many threats to our Nile, both inside and outside our country. A little change—a bad annual flood, building a dam, too much fishing—can have huge effects on the ecosystem. Lately, there's been less water north of the Qena bend, and that means the birds and the fish and the hippopotami and even the plants in the Faiyum lake are suffering. If this water shortage keeps up for another year, there might be a famine. You know what happens then.
Interviewer: Yes, then people and cattle die too, and the government gets messed up, and we go to war.
Sobek: [Nodding] Hard to believe a little thing like how much water is in the river can change all that, isn't it?
Interviewer: Yes. It's something we must pay more attention to. But where do we start?
Sobek: It's not hard to take care of the river. People just need to pay attention to it and help us out. Many gods are trying to raise awareness about the Nile. Isis, Taweret, Sopdet, Khnum, Hapi himself… we're all swimming in this together, you know.
Interviewer: [Looks at the audience] Will you say no to a god with a crocodile head? I didn't think so. Here's the address for Gods Against Drought. [An address flashes across the pictures on the back wall.] There will also be a charity black-kilt ball on the island of Philae next month. Isis is sponsoring this huge benefit to make sure the First Cataract stays clean. We'll be covering the red carpet experience from sunset until the dancing is over. All the gods and goddesses will be there, along with His Majesty the pharaoh himself, and it's bound to be the event of the year—
[Sobek glares at the interviewer, who stops going on about fashion and straightens in her seat with a barely audible "eep."]
Interviewer: —and of course we'll be collecting pledges for the Save our Nile drive in Lord Sobek's name! Please, join us.
[She smiles nervously at Sobek, who flashes every one of his teeth right back at her.]