There Is No Dog
by Meg Rosoff
Bob Timeline and Summary
- Bob sniffs out Lucy's prayer for love and instantly falls in love, or lust, with her.
- Mona, Bob's mom, brings him to a poker game and loses his pet Eck in a bad bet.
- Because he is super self-centered, Bob doesn't even care until way later.
- Bob meets Lucy at the zoo; it is love at first sight.
- He wants to see her again, so he asks her out to dinner. Lucy agrees to Bob's date and they go out for dinner and try to find her lost capybara. As you might expect on a first date that involves hunting down a loose capybara, the date does not end with sexy times.
- Both of the lovebirds are hot for each other and they make plans to get together after Lucy's work, but when they start making out Lucy gets scared. (Good move, Luce.)
- Bob decides that the next step is to ask for her hand in marriage, so he unsuccessfully tries to force it out of her mom. No dice.
- On another date Bob and Lucy go for a boat ride. At the end Bob asks Lucy to marry him and she says yes. They have wild passionate sex, presumably—we don't actually get to see it.
- Mona appears and moms it up for once, forbidding Bob to see Lucy.
- Next, Estelle comes and takes away Eck and yells at Bob for being an idiot.
- Bob realizes he can't fix his problems alone, so he promises he'll save the whales if Mr. B helps him out by getting rid of his mom.
- Just then, Lucy comes to find out why Bob hasn't talked to her since they had sex. He's in God-mode going on about saving the oceans, and so she naturally thinks he's crazy and jets. Later, Bob tries to patch things up by teleporting into her house.
- This is not a good move. Lucy gets pretty scared and it is clear that they are over.
- In order to make himself feel better, Bob saves the whales by making them fly.
- And finally, Mr. B poofs Bob off the planet when it is revealed that the guy being transferred is Bob, and not Mr. B.