There Is No Dog
by Meg Rosoff
Analysis: Plot Analysis
Most good stories start with a fundamental list of ingredients: the initial situation, conflict, complication, climax, suspense, denouement, and conclusion. Great writers sometimes shake up the recipe and add some spice.
Let's set the scene for you. Hot blonde, Lucy, who wants to be in love. Lazy, lecherous, idiotic, teenage God, Bob. He wants to have sex with the hot blonde. Lucy's mom wants her to get a boyfriend, since she's a virgin and we guess too old at 21? Someone hasn't seen The 40 Year Old Virgin.
But Lucy is too busy loving life to care too much. Oh, except for one thing: she's got a mean boss, Luke, who doesn't like her because she's pretty. That's it. Oh, and we also meet all of the main characters. Yay! We're all set up to see the rest of the story now, and since we've got gods and weird penguin-anteater hybrids, it's probably going to be a good one.
Now things start getting difficult. After all that lovey romance stuff, we learn there are some problems in Bob's paradise.
For one, the whales are in danger. Bob's right hand man, Mr. B loves those whales, so he's got to save them. Also Bob's pet, Eck, is traded off to a mean and powerful being, Emoto Hed, to be eaten. Not so great. Not to mention that when Bob is in love, the weather on Earth goes nuts. The moment he meets Lucy, it starts hailing and storming. The city floods, the zoo is in a panic, and everyone is going crazy. Guess what? There's only one way to end it.
Tsunamis, Hurricanes, and Smooth Moves
Everything comes to a head in this section. The weather gets even worse during Bob and Lucy's (brief) courtship. Bob wants to get married Lucy, even though her mom won't give away her hand in marriage. Estelle, Emoto Hed's daughter, has hatched a plan to save Earth and Eck at the same time.
Meanwhile, Luke (the mean boss) starts hitting on Lucy, so she has second thoughts about Bob. But never mind that, they get engaged and have amazing sex! Fortunately for Earth, this calms the weather down. Unfortunately for them, Bob's mom Mona decides to be a real mom just about now and says that Bob can't see Lucy anymore.
Things don't go so well for the gang after that dramatic climax. Eck's still going to die, and Estelle takes him away. No pet for Bob. Also, Bob is going crazy trying to figure out how save the whales, which Mr. B is making him do before he'll help out with the whole marrying Lucy thing.
Bob isn't helping matters with Lucy, either. She comes to see Bob when he's all God-ed out, and she suspects that he's not exactly who he said he was. It gets even worse when Bob decides to visit her, because he freaks her out by teleporting into her locked house. So, yeah, he and Lucy are splitsville, Eck's about to be eaten, and nothing is going according to plan—at least, not any plan that we know about. Seems like it's about time to wrap things up.
This section goes by in a flash. Hed agrees to take Mona instead of Eck (although hopefully he's not going to roast her up with some peppercorn sauce); Bob finally saves the whales (we guess) by making them fly; Bob, not Mr. B, is the one being transferred—and, finally, Mr. B is the new God.
Looking good, but there's just one more thing. Lucy and Luke sitting in a tree. K-i-s-s-i-n-g.