There Is No Dog
by Meg Rosoff
Like, you know, so Skype is like this new chick that comes to bother Luke? And like, she totally talks like a valley girl and all of her sentences are questions? Plus, like, she's totally into tarot cards and predictions and all of that junk?
Whew, okay, we couldn't keep up that voice for much longer. Skype is maybe the weirdest character in a book with some pretty weird characters. Really, we're not even sure what she is doing there and we think Luke might have thought twice if he knew that she was what was going to happen because of his prayer.
Luke prays for a child and the next day, Skype shows up. She follows him around so much that Lucy actually gets jealous. Just look at this:
"Where do you keep the tea bags?" And, when he pointed, "I don't suppose you have soy?" He stared at her. "Sauce?" "Milk. Never mind. I'll have mine, like, black? But you should really, like, try soy. I used to have all sorts of problems with things like, you know, bloat?" She handed him a cup of tea. Despite all the chatter, he was glad of it. "My name's Skype? I bet you're, like, wondering why I'm here?" "I don't mean to appear rude, but, yes. I am." He glanced at his watch. Six fifteen. What sort of mad person goes around making friends at this hour? She had found a seat at his table and he was awake enough, now, to look at her properly. She wore a T-shirt and hooded sweatshirt over a pleated school skirt; her broad smile revealed slightly uneven teeth. (25.6)
We agree with Luke. Who makes herself tea in a stranger's house at six in the morning? We don't about you guys but we are barely awake at six in the morning.
Anyway, we have no idea where Skype came from or what she's doing, but we know this: she helps Luke start not being so mean to Lucy and adds just a little bit more weirdness to the end of the book. She's only around for four chapters, but they are pretty interesting chapters.