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Theseus was a big deal hero and king of Athens. His biggest claim to fame was braving the Labyrinth of Crete where he slayed the man-eating Minotaur, a monster with the body of a man and the head of a bull. No big deal. Before that, he kicked the butts of six unruly bandits whose queen he'd kidnapped, bringing law and order to the land around Athens. Bottom line: Theseus was an awesome hero. But that didn't stop him from being a total womanizer, which got him into trouble all the time. Eventually, it even cost him the throne of Athens. Womp womp.

Basic Information

NicknameThe Matador, The Lady's Man
Current cityElysium

Work & Education

OccupationKing of Athens (retired), Minotaur Slayer (retired)
EducationThe Ares School of War
Dike's Academy of Law and Order (it was great studying with the goddess of justice herself)


Political viewsIf every ruler governed their land as well as I did Athens, the world would be a better place. Just sayin'.

Family & Friends (& Enemies)

ParentsAegeus and (maybe) Poseidon (Fathers)
Aethra (Mother)
ChildrenHippolytus, Demophon, Acamas
FriendsPirithous (My BFF)
Heracles (Who saved me from the Underworld)
Abraham Lincoln
EnemiesKing Minos (still mad at me for killing the Minotaur)
The Minotaur (for obvious reasons)
The Amazons (I kidnapped their Queen, Hippolyta)
Hippolyta (see above)
Ariadne (she's still pretty upset that I ditched her on an island)
Helen (not too friendly with me because I kidnapped her when she was a kid)
Castor and Pollux


Relationship statusFling with Ariadne
Hippolyta (First wife)
Phaedra (Second wife)
Tried to marry Helen, but it didn't work out
(Yeah, I get around)
Interested inBattle-ology
Daring do-ology
(I don't need to know the fancy terms—it's the action that counts)


Quotations"A warrior never worries about his fear."
– Carlos Castaneda

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that he does not become a monster. And if you gaze into the abyss long enough, the abyss will gaze back at you."
– Friedrich Nietzsche

"The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or a curse."
– Miyamoto Musashi

"I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero
'Til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
He's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight."
– Bonnie Tyler (she was totally talking about me)
BooksAll the King's Men by Robert Penn Warren
The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway (love the bullfighting)
The Lord of the Rings series by J.R.R. Tolkien
Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott
Henry IV, Part 1 by William Shakespeare
Henry IV, Part 2 by William Shakespeare
The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight (Anonymous)
A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin
"Beat! Beat! Drums!" by Walt Whitman
MusicI Need a Hero by Bonnie Tyler
We Will Rock You by Queen
Glory Days by Bruce Springsteen
Don't Stop Believin' by Journey
Love Bites by Def Leppard (reminds me of Phaedra)
Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffet
Minotaur by the Clientele
I Need a Hero by Frau Frau
TV ShowsGame of Thrones
Mad Men (that Don Draper has a way with the ladies!)
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I know she's a lady, but she's the bomb)

Activities & Interests

Garden Mazes
Ladies' Night
ActivitiesSlaying monsters and bandits
Laying down some law and order
Seducing women and/or forcing them into marriage
These days... playing a lot beach volleyball
GroupsHeroes of Greece
Kings of Athens

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