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Theseus's Wall

Wall

Hey ladies! Hero party at Jason's beach cabana tonight. Odysseus, Achilles, Perseus—everybody will be there. Heracles is even coming down from Olympus. Expect volleyball, margaritas, and awesomeness.

Ariadne

I hope it rains.

You know, forgiveness is divine.

Ariadne

You ditched me on an island. There wasn't any volleyball on that beach, Theseus.

My life was really complicated back then.

Ariadne

Was it complicated later on when you married my sister?

Well, it got real complicated when Phaedra got a crush on Hippolytus and tricked me into having him killed. He was my son, Ariadne. How do you think that made me feel?

Ariadne

Why, by all the gods of Olympus, would I care about how you feel?

Hippolyta

I can't believe you're up here whining about how Phaedra treated you. You deserved every awful thing that she did to you.

Phaedra

Was I really that awful?

Hippolyta

Uh...yes, you got my son killed.

Phaedra

There's no need to hold a grudge.

Hippolyta

Why don't you come by the Amazon club tonight and help me unleash my pent-up aggression?

Phaedra

I'll pass, thanks.

Amazon club? Sounds like my kind of place ☺

Hey everybody, just want to announce that I'm starting a Hero 101 seminar. Sign up now to learn how you, too, can be as awesome as me.

I can save them all the time. If you want to be famous like Theseus, all you have to do is murder some poor, misunderstood soul while he's innocently minding his own business.

Dude, you were chowing down on Athenian children.

It's not like Minos ever gave me anything else to eat.

Minos

Don't front, you loved eating children.

There... see.

I hate you both.

Thanks... hate you, too.

Minos

For the record, I hate both of you, too.

Man, you guys really put a damper on the announcement of my
seminar.

Pirithous

Why don't you ever come see me now that you're in the Land of the Blessed Dead?

Hey, you know...busy, busy, busy.

Pirithous

I thought we were best bros forever.

No, we are for sure.

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