KING OF HEARTS
I'm "ready for love," says giant king.
Jötunheim's most eligible bachelor doesn't plan on staying single much longer.
The frost giant king, who's earned a reputation for his wild, womanizing ways, tweeted yesterday that he's "thinking about marriage."
Asked about the tweet, Thrym acknowledged that he's "ready for love."
"In the past I've been very focused on my dogs and horses and stuff," he continued, "but recently I've thought, you know, it would be really nice to have a beautiful woman at the head of my table."
A friend explained the change in Thrym. "He's definitely started taking his responsibilities more seriously. He realizes that it's his job as king to produce an heir," said the source.
And the lucky bride? Well don't lose hope yet, ladies. "I haven't really made a decision about that," said Thrym. "It would have to be someone beautiful, obviously, to go with my gemstone collection, but other than that… nope, no idea."
KING THRYM RESPONDS TO THEFT ALLEGATIONS
"Yeah, I took the hammer"
Responding on Wodensday to allegations that he stole Thor's hammer, Thrym, king of the frost giants, confirmed that he took the Aesir muscleman's most important weapon.
"Like I told Loki," Thrym said, "Yeah, I took the hammer. What are you going to do about it?"
It was not immediately clear whether or not Thor intended to press charges. In a statement released through his lawyers, he described himself as "devastated by the loss of my most precious possession." But, he continued, "I am confident that together, the Aesir will figure out a way to get my hammer back. Watch out, Thrym. We're coming for you."
A close friend of Thrym believes that the king took the hammer to use as a bargaining tool in negotiations with the Aesir. "He probably took it so he could trade it for Freyja," said the source. "He's been obsessed with her for a while now. He wants to marry her, but he knows she'd have to be forced into it."
A WEDDING FIT FOR A GIANT
King Thrym prepares for marriage—but will the bride be a no-show?
Preparations are well underway in Jötunheim for what promises to be the wedding of the millennium. No expense will be spared when Thrym, king of the frost giants, weds the Aesir's fertility goddess, Freyja. The two-time winner of Wake Up Asgard's "most beautiful" designation says she is "resigned" to the marriage.
Thrym has pulled out all the stops to impress his fiancé. "The cooks are preparing an entire ox for the feast, and about three tons of salmon," said the king. Plus, he plans to have on hand lots of mead and "dainties for the women. Nothing's too good for Freyja!"
The giant king scoffed at rumors that Freyja has no intention of going through with the ceremony. "Thor wants his hammer back, doesn't he?" asked Thrym. "He'll make Freyja go through with it."
But a friend of Thor's, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, isn't so sure. "I wouldn't be surprised if Thrym's wedding day is not what he's expecting," said the source.