From 11:00PM PDT on Friday, July 1 until 5:00AM PDT on Saturday, July 2, the Shmoop engineering elves will be making tweaks and improvements to the site. That means Shmoop will be unavailable for use during that time. Thanks for your patience!
Meanwhile, Dr. Slop has prepared a bandage for Tristram's mutilated penis. Susannah, however, has a sudden fit of modesty and refuses to hold the candle so Dr. Slop can see to apply it.
Dr. Slop finally convinces her to hold the light but look away. Well, that's a recipe for disaster: she sets his wig on fire, he throws the bandage in her face, and she tosses a pan of medicine back at him.
No one, we want to point out, has managed to do anything about poor Tristram's penis.