At Calchas' house, Troilus and Cressida stand at the gate and say goodbye after having spent the night together.
They're having a kind of "You hang up." "No, you hang up" kind of conversation. (Sound familiar? It's a lot like what goes down between Romeo and Juliet during the famous balcony scene.)
Then Pandarus butts in and destroys all the romance of the moment by asking where all the "maidenheads" (virgins) have gone.
Cressida bickers with her annoying uncle and Troilus tries to step in and make peace.
Pandarus is all "Gee. Why so grouchy? Didn't you get any sleep last night?"
Knock knock! Troilus and Cressida run off while Pandarus opens the door and greets Aeneas, who wants to talk to Troilus.
Pandarus pretends Troilus isn't there, but he totally is.
Eventually, Troilus emerges to learn that Cressida has been traded to the Greeks for Antenor. This is not good.
Troilus runs off to meet with Priam, telling Aeneas keep his lips zipped about seeing him at Cressida's house.
Cressida, meanwhile, refuses to go to the Greek camp and says that if she ever betrays Troilus, she hopes her name will be synonymous with "falsehood."
She threatens to throw a tantrum, complete with hair pulling, face scratching, shrieking, and crying, and then she stomps off to her room.We'd totally make fun of her for acting like a teenager, expect that we're really on her side with this one.