Troilus and Cressida
Troilus and Cressida Act 5, Scene 2 Summary
- Diomedes shows up at the tent looking for Cressida.
- Calchas invites him inside as Troilus and Ulysses watch from a distance and Thersites creeps up behind them to see what happens.
- Cressida is all coy with Diomedes, calling him her "sweet guardian" and her "sweet honey Greek" and begging him not to "tempt" her as he whispers in her ear.
- Diomedes reminds Cressida that she promised she would give him something. (Uh-oh. Things aren't looking good for Troilus.)
- Troilus is crushed but he refuses to budge, even when Ulysses says he should just go home and forget about Cressida.
- Eventually, Cressida promises to sleep with Diomedes and even gives him a love token to prove she's serious. Guess what it is?
- That's right. The "sleeve" Troilus gave her earlier.
- This just about kills Troilus, obviously.
- Diomedes wants to know where the love token came from but Cressida won't tell.
- Then she changes her mind and says she's not going to hook up with Diomedes and that he shouldn't come back to her tent.
- Diomedes threatens to wear the sleeve the next day during battle just to taunt the guy who gave it to Cressida.
- As he turns to leave, Cressida tells him to wait up. She's changed her mind again and has decided to sleep with him after all.
- Diomedes has had enough of this crazy lady and leaves.
- Troilus then shows up and delivers a speech about how Cressida is totally going to miss him when he's gone.
- But Cressida claims she can't help the fact that she's unfaithful because she's a woman and all women are promiscuous.
- With that lovely thought, she exits the stage.
- Thersites, who has been making nasty comments the whole time, says that Cressida is a "whore."
- Troilus can't believe what he's just seen and heard, and he declares that he's going to stab Diomedes tomorrow during battle. Which is logical. Not.
- Then Aeneas shows up and announces that Hector has already gone back to Troy and it's time for Troilus to go home, too.
- Thersites is left alone on stage. He says that the world is all about "lechery, lechery, still wars and lechery."
We feel you, man.