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Troilus and Cressida Act 5, Scene 2 Summary
Diomedes shows up at the tent looking for Cressida. Calchas invites him inside as Troilus and Ulysses watch from a distance and Thersites creeps up behind them to see what happens. Cressida is all coy with Diomedes, calling him her "sweet guardian" and her "sweet honey Greek" and begging him not to "tempt" her as he whispers in her ear. Diomedes reminds Cressida that she promised she would give him something. (Uh-oh. Things aren't looking good for Troilus.) Troilus is crushed but he refuses to budge, even when Ulysses says he should just go home and forget about Cressida. Eventually, Cressida promises to sleep with Diomedes and even gives him a love token to prove she's serious. Guess what it is? That's right. The "sleeve" Troilus gave her earlier. This just about kills Troilus, obviously. Diomedes wants to know where the love token came from but Cressida won't tell. Then she changes her mind and says she's not going to hook up with Diomedes and that he shouldn't come back to her tent. Diomedes threatens to wear the sleeve the next day during battle just to taunt the guy who gave it to Cressida. As he turns to leave, Cressida tells him to wait up. She's changed her mind again and has decided to sleep with him after all. Diomedes has had enough of this crazy lady and leaves. Troilus then shows up and delivers a speech about how Cressida is totally going to miss him when he's gone. But Cressida claims she can't help the fact that she's unfaithful because she's a woman and all women are promiscuous. With that lovely thought, she exits the stage. Thersites, who has been making nasty comments the whole time, says that Cressida is a "whore." Troilus can't believe what he's just seen and heard, and he declares that he's going to stab Diomedes tomorrow during battle. Which is logical. Not. Then Aeneas shows up and announces that Hector has already gone back to Troy and it's time for Troilus to go home, too. Thersites is left alone on stage. He says that the world is all about "lechery, lechery, still wars and lechery." We feel you, man.
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