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Uranus (Ouranos, Caelus)

Uranus is famous for his spectacular downfall. His career started out pretty promising—this god of the sky was actually the first king of the gods. He and his queen Gaia, the earth, were in charge of everything way back at the beginning of time. Everything was cool until Gaia got pregnant and had the giant one-eyed Cyclopes and the monstrous many-handed Hekatonkheires. Uranus was totally freaked out by his hideous monster-babies, so he buried them deep under Gaia. This seriously ticked off the lady, so she got their other kids, the Titans, to help her get revenge on her husband. Next thing Uranus knows, the Titans are holding him down, and the youngest one, Kronos, is castrating him with a giant sickle. Yes, that means that Kronos cut off his father's man parts. (Sometimes Greek mythology really just takes it over the edge.)

Basic Information

NicknameOuranos, Ouranus, Caelus, Aeon, The Big Guy in the Sky
BirthdayThe sky... well, I am the sky.

Work & Education

OccupationFirst king of the gods (Forced into retirement)
Being the sky
EducationThe Chaos School of Everything and Nothing (It was a confusing education.)


Political viewsMe for king

Family & Friends (& Enemies)

ParentsDepending on who you ask...
Gaia (Mom)
Gaia (Mom)
Aether (Dad)
Chaos (pulled myself from Chaos at the beginning of everything)
SiblingsNobody can agree on how all of us primordial gods are related, and we're all too old to remember exactly, so these are all maybes...
ChildrenI did a lot of procreating while I still could...

The Cyclopes: Brontes, Steropes, Arges
The Hekatonkheires: Briareus (Aegaeon), Gyges, Cottus
The Titans: Kronos, Oceanus, Koios, Krios, Hyperion, Iapetos (boys); and Rhea, Theia, Themis, Mnemosyne, Tethis, Phoebe (girls)
Born from my blood dripping on the earth when Kronos castrated me: The Furies (maybe), The Gigantes, The Meliae, The Kouretes
Born from the magic foam that fizzed up from my man-parts when Kronos threw them in the ocean: Aphrodite
FriendsAether (The bright upper atmosphere who is always up for a chat.)
Helios (We used to spend a lot time together when he drove the Sun across the sky.)
EnemiesGaia (My awful ex-wife who had me castrated.)
Kronos (My evil son who chopped off my manhood.)


Relationship statusSingle (Haven't had a lot of takers since Kronos castrated me...)
Interested inI've kind of lost the motivation.


Quotations"Too low they build who build below the skies."
– Edward Young

"The bluebird carries the sky on his back."
– Henry David Thoreau

"How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child"
– William Shakespeare, King Lear

"I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I spent on you.
Where have the times gone, baby it's all wrong,
where are the plans we made for two?"
– Maroon 5

"I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
To fly
To fly"
– Nicki Minaj
BooksThe Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien (One day I'm making my comeback too.)
Fathers and Sons by Ivan Turgenev
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess (The kid in this book is about as psycho as Kronos.)
All the King's Men by Robert Penn Warren
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
Paradiso by Dante Alighieri
Around the World in 80 Days by Jules Verne 
A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin (It's a very serious game.)
Saint Joan by George Bernard Shaw (Sometimes I dream of kicking all these usurpers off my throne. You know, set everything right like Joan did back in France.)
Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein (I get a kick out of sci-fi because I live so close to space.)
"I wandered lonely as a Cloud (Daffodils)" by William Wordsworth
MusicSet Fire to the Rain by Adele (This song reminds of my relationship with Gaia...)
Up Up and Away by The Fifth Dimension
Spirit in the Sky by Norman Greenbaum
Payphone by Maroon 5
Fly by Nicki Minaj ft. Rihanna
Look Into the Air by Explosions in the Sky
I've Been in the Storm too Long by The Mighty Clouds of Joy
The Avengers (These guys ought to come avenge me.)
Wrath of the Titans (I like it when my traitorous kids get beat down at the end of this movie.)
The Boy Who Could Fly
Howl's Moving Castle
The Dictator (Kronos was a lot like this guy once he took over.)
Top Gun
So I Married an Axe Murderer (Yep, I definitely identify with this one.)
TV ShowsGame of Thrones
The Care Bears (I respect any creature who chooses to live in the clouds.)

Activities & Interests

Hang gliding
Seeing shapes in clouds
DislikesGetting kicked off of my throne
Being brutally assaulted by my own family
Being the sky (It's a lot more work than it sounds like.)
GroupsPrimordial Gods
The O.G.s (Original Gods)
Deposed Kings Support Group
The Society for Eunuch Rights

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