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CAHSEE ELA 1.3 Writing: Revision 189 Views


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Description:

CAHSEE Writing: Revision Drill, Problem 3. Which of the following would improve the essay as a whole?

Language:
English Language

Transcript

00:03

The Wizard tells us you came here looking for an unshmoopy question...

00:08

Hit pause, look over this passage, and then have at it...

00:16

Which of the following would improve the essay as a whole?

00:18

And here are the potential answers:

00:24

Okay, no way to approach this one other than to look at each answer choice individually...

00:29

Let's start with A... "using the pronoun "he" less frequently."

00:35

Not a bad idea. When you write an essay, you want to mix things up so it doesn't get

00:39

dry and repetitive.

00:41

Continually using the same pronoun over... and over... and over... and over...

00:47

What about B... "combining sentence 4 and 5"?

00:50

Honestly, each of these sentences is long enough on its own. There are no prizes for

00:54

longest sentence, unfortunately. C suggests we "revise sentence 7."

01:04

Um... why, exactly? It says something substantial, is written intelligently, isn't too over

01:09

the top and doesn't repeat anything else in the passage.

01:12

If it ain't broke, don't rewrite it. Finally, D wants us to "use Franklin Delano

01:17

Roosevelt in every sentence."

01:19

That's an awful idea. First of all, FDR hated being used.

01:22

Second... we'd have the same problem we have with all those "he"s, except now...

01:28

it's longer. A is our guy.

01:30

As in, "All work and no play..."

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