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Description:

It's no surprise that an ugly monster with a head full of snakes would be misunderstood. Then again, it should be obvious that she didn't ask for such a horrific makeover. That lawsuit would have any cosmetic surgeon running for their mommy.

Language:
English Language

Transcript

00:05

Medusa, a la Shmoop.

00:09

Hello, mortals. Medusa here.

00:11

Wait, don't hit "stop." I swear I won't turn you into stone.

00:16

Yes, it's true that people used to petrify when they looked into my eyes, but it doesn't

00:19

work through a screen. I'm dead anyway, so my power no longer works on the living.

00:24

Isn't that right, Larry?

00:26

OK, that was an accident.

00:29

Anyway, I know some of you have seen certain films recently

00:32

that have shown me as some kind of awful monster.

00:35

Today, I'm here to set the record straight.

00:38

I may be known as a monster who attacks innocent victims,

00:41

but the truth is that I'm the innocent victim who's been attacked.

00:47

It all started when I made the very bad mistake of getting involved

00:49

with Poseidon, god of the sea.

00:52

Believe it or not, I used to be a beautiful girl,

00:54

which, I guess, is what caught Poseidon's eye.

00:59

Next thing I know, he's seducing me in the temple of Athena.

01:01

"It's fine," he said.

01:03

"Athena's my sister, she told me it was cool to bring chicks here" he tells me.

01:08

What was I supposed to do? He was a god. I couldn't really say no.

01:13

Turns out, Poseidon was totally full of seaweed.

01:16

Athena showed up, and she was not cool with what we did in her temple.

01:20

Instead of standing up for me, Poseidon jetted and left me to take all the blame.

01:25

To punish me, Athena gave me an extreme makeover--and not the positive kind.

01:30

Now, tell me how is it that I'm the awful monster? Aren't these gods the awful ones?

01:35

Nobody deserves a head full of snakes. Nobody.

01:39

Ouch!

01:40

Of course, nobody wanted to hang out with me after that, since they... like...

01:43

turned to stone just by looking at me.

01:46

And dating? Forget about it.

01:49

Before I know it, I'm living in a slimy sea cave away from civilization.

01:54

But it gets even worse.

01:55

I'm just sitting in my cave one day, minding my own depressing business, when out of nowhere

02:00

this handsome young man flies in wearing winged sandals.

02:05

At first I think, "Oh, great! A hero has come to save me from this awful fate."

02:10

I decided to pretend I was asleep, so that

02:12

maybe he'd kiss me and transform me into the beauty I once was.

02:16

Let me tell you ladies. That whole thing about a hero coming to save you is a myth.

02:21

Instead of rescuing me, Perseus was there to chop off my head and take it as a prize.

02:26

He looked at me through the reflection in his shield, whipped out his sword, and before

02:29

I could blink, Hermes was escorting my soul to the Underworld.

02:34

To add insult to injury I even found out later that Hermes helped

02:38

Perseus by lending him the flying sandals.

02:42

To add even more insult to even more injury,

02:44

I found out that Athena had helped Perseus too.

02:48

outright conspiracy. Yes, a conspiracy. What else would you call it?

02:48

I even found out later that Perseus went around using my head as a weapon afterward, and that

02:52

Athena eventually ended up wearing it as a garment.

02:55

Oh, the indignity.

02:59

Now, I'm not looking for pity.

03:01

I'm not the only one whose life has been cruelly destroyed

03:04

by the gods of their favorite mortals.

03:06

I just want the truth to be out there.

03:08

I just want to tear down the walls of injustice!

03:12

And...I just want you to buy my memoir for $9.95!

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