ShmoopTube

Where Monty Python meets your 10th grade teacher.

Search Thousands of Shmoop Videos

Changing the Underlined Portion #1241 173 Views


Share It!


Description:

PSAT 1.15 Writing Narrative Walkthrough. How would you change the underlined portion, if at all?

Language:
English Language

Transcript

00:00

Thank you We sneak and here's your shmoop du jour

00:05

brought to you by the museum of modern art It's

00:08

the only place where someone might vandalize some of the

00:10

artwork and no one would notice All right check the

00:14

passage Sorry we that we love modern art but some

00:17

of it just like that soup can thing i don't

00:19

get All right How would you change the underlying portion

00:22

below If it all Yes i know i'm a philistine

00:25

his brothers who were involved in founding museum on our

00:28

new york What entrench an experimental buys in the right

00:32

talking like a snooty new yorker there all right And

00:34

here potential answers It was quite lovely all right We'll

00:40

only once in our lives have we ever heard of

00:42

sentence this long without a single comma or other punctuation

00:46

And that was when a car salesman tried to sell

00:48

us the latest prius in under thirty seconds without taking

00:51

a breath It wasn't pretty so as much as the

00:53

original sentence just spits it all out and lets us

00:56

get on with our day We have a feeling there's

00:58

probably something missing here since it's rockefeller's brothers who were

01:01

involved in founding the museum We're probably going to need

01:04

to find a way to segment that bit off from

01:07

the rest of the sentence unless banks he came along

01:10

and manually remove the commas to make some sort of

01:13

statement right No banks Option c has decided to go

01:19

with parentheses A valiant effort but wrong parentheses can be

01:23

used to present information is an afterthought But the content

01:27

here is providing valuable information that describes the brothers and

01:31

why there might be some bias there So we need

01:33

to make the claws more of a focal point Go

01:36

back to sleep Santa will wake you if we media

01:38

option d also Separates the claws this time with dashes

01:43

another good attempt but using dashes here is probably too

01:45

jarring for the flow of the sentence which otherwise trucks

01:48

along rather smoothly Let's call this one plan b in

01:51

case nothing better comes along Ah yes answer Choice b

01:55

hits it on the nose Commas worked perfectly to separate

01:58

this non restrictive clause They make it clear that the

02:01

line is in reference to the brothers while not cluttering

02:05

the sentence or disrupting the tone or rhythm Plus they're

02:08

forty percent off this week Only it's a win win

Up Next

PSAT 1.16 Writing Diagnostic
76 Views

PSAT 1.16 Writing Diagnostic. How would you change the underlined portion of the passage, if at all?

Related Videos

PSAT 1.17 Writing Diagnostic
1 Views

Check out this PSAT Writing Diagnostic question and determine whether the sentence in question is fine as is, or needs a change.

PSAT 1.1 Reading Diagnostic
1006 Views

PSAT 1.1 Reading Diagnostic. The main purpose of the first two paragraphs is to...what?