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Interview with Wepwawet

Military Debriefing

[Master Sergeant Ramose and Lieutenant Khety are pacing back and forth in a small, dimly lit room. An empty chair sits at a table in the corner.]

Ramose: Where is he?

Khety: He thought he'd have been through the enemy lines by now.

Ramose: This is bad.

Khety: Maybe not. He's never gotten lost before. Let's be patient.

Ramose: All right. But what if it is bad?

Khety: Then we'll just have to tell General Montu.

[Both men stare at each other a moment and look terrified. They jump when the door bursts open and Wepwawet walks in.]

Wepwawet: [wearing desert camouflage, and looking dusty] Scout reporting for duty.

[He salutes.]

Khety: Where the Duat have you been, Scout?

Ramose: Should you be yelling at him like that? He is a god.

Khety: [nervous for a moment] Oh. Yes. Sorry…

Wepwawet: No need to apologize. I can tell you were concerned.

Khety: Well, yes, we were worried you'd been caught.

Wepwawet: Ha! Me? Caught? I haven't been caught in… ever. Not ever.

Ramose: So, what'd you find out? Our secret agent will arrive for debriefing at any moment. We're terribly behind schedule here.

Wepwawet: I found out Seth's wife is a pretty hot mama… [He breaks into a huge grin.]

Ramose: What?

Khety: Nevermind that, Wepwawet. Seth's army. The battle. What did you find out?

[Wepwawet stops grinning, then leans forward, picks up the pencil on the table, and takes a few minutes to scribble something out on the papers spread across it.
Ramose and Khety watch him draw, and then look at the papers in awe as Wepwawet sets the pencil down and returns to leaning back in the chair, this time with his arms behind his head.]

Khety: That's… an entire battle map of the valley.

Ramose: With troop counts and complete measurements of every doorway, foxhole, and strategic chokepoint between here and Memphis…

Khety: How could you remember all that?

Wepwawet: [grinning] What? I'm good at my job.

[The door opens again, and a young, hawk-headed man enters. Ramose and Khety both salute.]

Wepwawet: Who's this?

Hawk-headed man: The name's Horus. Horus the Younger.

Khety: Agent Horus is our… surprise weapon.

Wepwawet: [salutes Horus and winks] I love surprises. So, what have we got in store for Seth?

Khety: [picks up the map and beckons everyone over] Well, let me show you…

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