Is it an extended Spring Break? Are you trapped in a bad episode of Black Mirror?
Nooooo! It’s the global COVID-19 Pandemic of 2020! That’s right. It’s the end of the world as we know it, and we feel fine!
After all, even global catastrophes can have a silver lining. Just ask these guys:
And you all get to stay home! Who knows--if the whole remote schooling thing works, maybe they’ll let you stay home more often. As fun as all that extra down time from school may seem, quarantines and “social distancing” mean hours cooped up at home, isolated. After all, social distancing means staying away from others.
That’s right: The government is ordering you to stay home. Is that even legal? Is it a violation of your individual rights? Check out Shmoop’s take on individual rights. (See what we did there?)
Will your mandated quarantine really be all that different from the hours you already spend holed up in your room watching TikTok videos? Meh… maybe not.
Still, you’ll need to fill that time with some schooling. That’s what we’re here for.
Here’s a breakdown of your new "homeschool" schedule:
7am: Wake up; bask in the euphoric realization that you don’t have to get up for at least a couple more hours; go back to sleep.
10am - 11am: Pour a bowl of cereal; open your laptop. (Yes, we know these two actions will take you one hour to accomplish with a phone in your hand.)
11am - 1pm: Now your teachers probably still have some kind of agenda for your home time, so check out...