Study Guide

My Heartbeat Chapter 18

By Garret Freymann-Weyr

Chapter 18

  • James and Ellen are officially "an item" at school now.
  • She continues to obsess over James's vow to never have sex. James is very concerned that he could have AIDS; he is planning to get tested, but keeps putting it off.
  • Ellen really wants to have sex, but her age and the little AIDS matter is enough to make James very careful not to. James is also reluctant because he's only had sex with men and thinks it would be unfair to Ellen for her to lose her virginity to someone like that.
  • James lost his virginity to a protégé of his father's who works at his firm. James refers to him as "The Weapon"—because if his father ever found out it would utterly destroy him.
  • Link was furious when James told him about The Weapon. He said it was proof that he couldn't trust James, but James thinks it was just proof that Link wasn't ready for a relationship.
  • Ellen makes a drawing of her, James, and the three men he's slept with laying in bed in a doctor's waiting room. She's pretty proud of how The Weapon turned out, as he's the only one whose expression feels right.