Study Guide

Punkzilla Contrasting Regions

By Adam Rapp

Contrasting Regions

P I've been living in Portland for five months and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I probably won't really know for years because that's how it works right? You don't really develop feelings about a place till you've left it. (1.7)

This sentiment is pretty much the basis of all country songs, ever. Hey, do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your dog, your truck, and your woman back.

North would've meant Washington State and there's nothing up there but wild animals and rivers and naked people f***ing in the woods but I know north means anywhere to Branson. He could be on his way to Mexico and if you asked him where he was going he would say he was breaking north. (1.26)

This is partly funny and partly sad—it points to Branson's limited education, which points to a life stuck at Washington House. Keep learning, folks. We're here to help.

Ohio is pretty boring and I know you know that more than anyone but Missouri is cursed with a different kind of boredom P. It hangs in the air like somebody's bad breath. (5.14)

Boredom is indeed oppressive. A bored, dissatisfied populace changes a place as well as a person. You can only spend your days among so many lifeless minds before you either become lifeless yourself or rebel.

Anyway as I was telling you just before I slapped and cut myself that that kid's mom picked us up at the Greyhound station in Caldwell Idaho. (8.43)

Having been beaten in the station bathroom, Jamie inflicts punishment on himself. Shades of his mom's reaction to the Major, huh?

The cornstalks weren't even a foot tall but there was like this SEA of the stuff P…there was something ominous about it like the corn itself would start humming in some low warlock voice and swallow you up if you walked too far into it. (8.60)

This is a perfect place to take a Children of the Corn break. If you're studying in the middle of the night, though, you might want to wait until morning.

I'm not exactly sure what town I'm in but I'm somewhere near Buffalo Wyoming. There's no lake near the Lakeside Motel. At least not one that I can see so I think the motel must be built on a foundation of bulls***. (12.6)

There are actually some really gorgeous lakes in the Bighorn Mountains near Buffalo, Wyoming, but Jamie's the type who needs his lakes right then, right there.

The old skeezer behind the desk at the Best Western had a face like a mustard stain and kept talking about this place called Goblin Valley Utah. I had no idea why she was bringing up some weird place in Utah because I was in Nebraska! (15.15)

Oh, those skeezers, with their goblins and their Utah. Why can't they just stay in one state and be happy about it?

At the rest stop I found an atlas that someone had left on a picnic table and I opened it up to where I was. I had to get all the way across Nebraska and then Iowa and then Illinois and then Kentucky! That's a lot of states P! I had no idea how big this country is. (15.45)

If Jamie had truly comprehended how big America was, he might not have undertaken the journey from Portland to Tennessee—or at least he might have been better prepared for the journey he undertook.

I thought Missouri was boring but Nebraska was like looking at some stupid painting of the land for three hours. (19.19)

To sum up, in Jamie's world, Missouri is more boring than Ohio, but Nebraska is more boring than both.

Man that area of the country seemed really old-fashioned like maybe they didn't know about the Internet or like at any moment someone was going to start playing a banjo or something but I have to admit I liked that feeling P. At least looking out on the Mississippi I did. (19.30)

A world in which no one knows about the Internet is a world in which Buck Tooth Jenny doesn't have to decide whether or not to pose for it. It's also one in which people can't download music for their iPods, so Fat Larkin can't pay people to steal them.