Study Guide

Punkzilla Sex

By Adam Rapp


She was going to make like three hundred bucks posing for that website too and it's pretty funny because Branson doesn't mind if she gives me or someone else a hand job but he goes ballistic if she starts talking about posing for a website or if you call her Buck Tooth Jenny. (1.36)

It's different for Branson when Buck Tooth Jenny's with Jamie, because Branson knows Jamie. Strangers on the Internet, though, are a different story. You never know who's looking, or how crazy they are.

Have you ever split a Viagra with Jorge? I hear it makes sex way more intense like you feel like you grow fangs. (5.35)

The use of an erectile dysfunction drug for old men as a recreational one for young men is… well, a little whack. But if you're at military school in Missouri, you've got to do something for fun.

I had never gotten a blow job before P but I just closed my eyes and tried to imagine Cornelia Zenkich from back home like her walking around naked on our lawn and then leaning back against our maple tree and that really helped a lot. (5.55)

While being molested by a man, Jamie fantasizes about a neighbor girl. The fact that he doesn't fight shows how quickly—and terribly—things can go wrong when you lose all your money. He feels legit stuck in this scenario.

I'll probably wind up dating some shy girl with a neck brace and an ass shaped like a stop sign and she'll NEVER lift her hoodie for me not even if I pay her. (12.14)

Note to Jamie: If you're this sexually frustrated before puberty, we don't want you to find out what happens after.

After that we made out and she put my hand down her pants […] and she started rubbing me and things were getting really intense. I couldn't believe how fast it was all happening P but it felt right it really did! (19.111)

Call us crazy, but if you're a teenage boy and a cute girl has her hand down your pants, we submit that there are few ways it could feel other than right.

Man I was high and it was such a beautiful thing P. I mean her breasts were sort of small but they were so PERFECT like they should be put in a museum or something! (19.113)

Again, we submit that if you're really high and you see boobs for the first time, there are few things they can seem other than perfect. Still, Jamie's sense of wonder is refreshing.

[…] she asked me if I wanted to do it […] I told her I was a virgin and she said she was too and I said "You are?" and she said "Yeah but what the hell right? I figure I got this stupid disease and my heart sucks and I don't know how much longer I'll be around." (19.115)

Kind of seems like Albertina's using Jamie, right? At least she admits it, even if not in those exact words. He falls for her anyway, though.

[…] she put the condom on me and started to feel me more and I told her how I didn't have any pubic hair yet and she was like "Who needs pubic hair?" (19.116)

Jamie's body is in several stages of development at once, but that doesn't mean he won't get naked with a girl as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

She couldn't move around so much and we had to stop a few times so she could get into a more comfortable position because her hips were aching from her lupus but once we got a rhythm going it was like nothing I've ever felt before. (19.119)

Jamie's consideration of Albertina's physical pain in the face of his overwhelming sexual urges is a sign that maybe, despite stealing electronics from old ladies and Service Merchandise, he'll turn out okay.

[…] she was sleeping really deeply like way way down. I wanted to wake her and tell her I loved her but I was afraid P. (19.122)

All Jamie's bravado disappears when faced with a real, live, non-Buck Tooth Jenny girl. This moment with Albertina and the time he cries in front of Lewis are the two times in the book Jamie allows himself to be truly vulnerable.

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