The speaker contemplates several ways of committing suicide, but finds problems with each one. She finally decides that they're all more trouble than they're worth.
Razors pain you;
- Either our speaker hasn't quite learned how to shave yet, or she's using razors to cut something more than her armpit hair.
- Whichever it is, our speaker makes sure to clarify that she's not the one who would be suffering – it's "you."
- In other words, the speaker's not necessarily admitting that she's attempting to use razors. She's speaking impersonally.
Rivers are damp;
- Well, our speaker turns out to be a master of understatement here. Yes, rivers are "damp" – they're made of water, silly!
- Maybe our speaker's just listing a bunch of random observations here, but they're beginning to sound a bit suspicious. After all, slitting your wrists and drowning are two very popular ways of committing suicide.
- "Damp" also seems like a word we'd use to describe how our clothes or swimsuit feel after taking a dip in a pool or a lake – when you get out and it's a little windy, and maybe you start to get clammy; dampness is not the most comfortable feeling in the world.
Acids stain you;
- A less popular way to kill oneself is to swallow acid.
- In case you were wondering, it's about as pleasant as it sounds. Acid tends to be…acidic. In other words, it's not all that easy on the digestive system.
- Funnily enough, though, our speaker doesn't mention the intense pain that accompanies a dose of acid.
- You could say that she's understating her case again, but we're beginning to think that she's deliberately focusing on the superficial aspects of death. Sure, acid may tear apart your digestive system – but it'll also mess up your new kicks. See what we mean?
And drugs cause cramp;
- We're guessing that the "cramp" our speaker mentions here are stomach cramps, which is one side effect of overdosing on pills.
- Notice that this is the first time that a line starts with "and." Sure, the word choice here isn't a huge deal, but it does suggest that our speaker is thinking of all these things cumulatively – that is, they're all part of a list of options.
- And none of the options are very appealing.
Guns aren't lawful;
- Now that the author has run through five different ways to put an end to one's life, it seems a little silly to quibble over something like the illegality of guns, doesn't it? After all, if she dies, she won't be sent to prison, will she?
- That doesn't seem to occur to our speaker, though – she's concerned about maintaining her clean record.
- So, we've either got a very law-abiding citizen on our hands, or our poet has a dark sense of humor.
- Maybe she's not so worried about the fact that guns aren't legal – maybe it's the fact that their illegality makes it difficult to acquire one.
- Once again, killing oneself is trickier than it might sound initially.
- It's every Western movie hero's worst nightmare: you go to hang the villain and then, all of a sudden, the noose breaks. Hey, if it happens in the movies, it can happen in real life, right?
- Notice that this is the one line that doesn't have four syllables.
- Any guesses why? After all, it could read, "nooses may give," couldn't it?
- Well, we don't have any solid answers on this one, but we do think it's interesting to note that the breaking of a noose coincides with the line itself breaking out of the regular pattern. Nifty, huh?
Gas smells awful;
- Ever had a pilot light out in your gas stove? If so, you know that gas does smell bad. Car exhaust isn't so pleasant either.
- It seems that our speaker is contemplating sticking her head in the oven. Or locking herself in the garage with a running car.
- Come to think of it, that brings us to an interesting point: our speaker never specifies how to kill herself. She just discusses the unappealing aspects of each form of suicide. That's why we don't know whether she's thinking about the oven or the garage.
- Does that make suicide harder to imagine? Maybe. But it also might mean she's not actually planning on doing any of these things.
You might as well live.
- Ha! This, folks, is the punch line of the poem. Given that each of the suicide plans has its own irritants, our speaker opines (gives her opinion) that living just might be less trouble than dying.
- Notice the tone of this realization? It's not "Living is great!" It's not even "Well, I suppose my life is OK, after all."
- Nope. It's a pretty lame support for the living, all things considered.