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Theseus's Wall


Hey ladies! Hero party at Jason's beach cabana tonight. Odysseus, Achilles, Perseus—everybody will be there. Heracles is even coming down from Olympus. Expect volleyball, margaritas, and awesomeness.


I hope it rains.

You know, forgiveness is divine.


You ditched me on an island. There wasn't any volleyball on that beach, Theseus.

My life was really complicated back then.


Was it complicated later on when you married my sister?

Well, it got real complicated when Phaedra got a crush on Hippolytus and tricked me into having him killed. He was my son, Ariadne. How do you think that made me feel?


Why, by all the gods of Olympus, would I care about how you feel?


I can't believe you're up here whining about how Phaedra treated you. You deserved every awful thing that she did to you.


Was I really that awful?


Uh...yes, you got my son killed.


There's no need to hold a grudge.


Why don't you come by the Amazon club tonight and help me unleash my pent-up aggression?


I'll pass, thanks.

Amazon club? Sounds like my kind of place ☺

Hey everybody, just want to announce that I'm starting a Hero 101 seminar. Sign up now to learn how you, too, can be as awesome as me.

I can save them all the time. If you want to be famous like Theseus, all you have to do is murder some poor, misunderstood soul while he's innocently minding his own business.

Dude, you were chowing down on Athenian children.

It's not like Minos ever gave me anything else to eat.


Don't front, you loved eating children.

There... see.

I hate you both.

Thanks... hate you, too.


For the record, I hate both of you, too.

Man, you guys really put a damper on the announcement of my


Why don't you ever come see me now that you're in the Land of the Blessed Dead?

Hey, you know...busy, busy, busy.


I thought we were best bros forever.

No, we are for sure.

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