Punctuation Introduction

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Like grammar nerds like to say, punctuation is a matter of life and death. There's a huge difference between "Let's eat, Grandma" and "Let's eat Grandma."

Ba-dum ching!

Yes, grammarians can also be cornballs. But grammar truly is a matter of life and death… of your dignity as a writer. And as a human being.

You could write that, "Rachel Ray finds inspiration in cooking her family and her dog." Oof.

You could post a sign in the disabled/family restroom at your establishment that reads "Attention: toilet only for disabled elderly pregnant children." Oof. Oof. And also—what?!

And it ain't just commas that spell the difference between cannibalism and family dining or embarrassment and writing proficiency.

Without periods, you could end up writing "I have two hours to kill someone come hang out." (Terrifying.)

Overindulgence in quotation marks could have you saying that your restaurant serves the best "chicken" in town, leading hungry would-be patrons to think "Uh, what is that chicken really made out of?"

Basically, all punctuation is there for a reason. It shows degrees of separation and emphasis. In fact, when you think about it, punctuation symbols are a lot like road signs. No, they're not huge and green. They tell your reader when to look alive and anticipate, when to slow down, and when to come to a complete stop.

Simply put, punctuation symbols are a powerful tool. Use them to get your audience to read your writing exactly how you want it to be read. Feel the power!

Disclaimer

Punctuation is, uh, kind of made up.

See, it was originally used to help people know when to pause in a sentence. Comma was a short pause, semi-colon was a longer pause, and period was a full stop. So who are we to tell you that YOU CANNOT USE A COMMA THERE?

Plus, with the thousand ways we now have to communicate, punctuation is always changing. Remember when a period didn't mean you were angry? Those were the days.

Bottom line: take everything everyone says about punctuation with a grain of salt. Yes, you need to pass your grammar exam, but you don't need to deal with grammar tyrants.

Quiz Yourself on Punctuation

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Read the passage below:

Danny and Sandra went apple-picking last weekend at Plump and Juicy Orchards. The sun was shining and the birds were singing. Sandra was determined to find the five juiciest apples because she wanted to bake an apple crisp. ________________. However, he did not expect that it would take them over three hours of searching. Sandra was pretty picky, but Danny was sure that only meant that this apple crisp was going to be the best one he's ever had.

Which sentence should be inserted into the blank?

(A) Danny knew that Sandra was an amazing baker, he said he would go along with the plan.

(B) Danny was willing to help her; since apple crisps were his absolute favorite dessert.

(D) Danny was willing to go along with this plan; he really liked the taste of baked apples.

Choose the BEST explanation for the quotation marks in the passage below.

Whenever I came home with a broken heart, my dad would tell me that there were still plenty of other fish in the sea. All I had to do was find the right one. Then I would know what "love" truly felt like. Well, here I am forty years later, still fishing. Maybe I need better bait…

(A) The author is directly quoting his or her father.

(B) The author wants to call the reader's attention to the word "love."

(D) The author does not buy into the idea of "love."

Identify the error in the passage that follows.

The fall is Leif's favorite time of year because the leaves change colors. Instead of that boring old green, they turn into tones of deep reds, sparkling oranges, and bright yellows. If it were socially acceptable to frolic in leaves all day, Leif would certainly do it. Playing in a pile of bright color just brings him so much joy, he feels at peace with Mother Nature while communing with the leaves. However, he also doesn't like when strangers stare at him like a crazy person, so he tries to contain his love of leaves while in public.

(A) day, Leif

(B) joy, he

(D) I see no error here, no matter how much you beg for me to find one.

Choose the option that quotes the statement below correctly.

I would like to thank my parents who devoted so much hard work and so many resources to raising me. I know you two weren't happy about all the acting classes, drama boot camps, and speech therapists I asked you to pay for. But hey, I made it, so you can't say I wasn't worth the expense! In all seriousness, I would not be here accepting the Award for Best Actor if it weren't for you.

(A) "I would like to thank my parents who devoted so much hard work and so many resources to raising me. I would not be here accepting the Award for Best Actor if it weren't for you."

(B) "I would like to thank my parents… I asked you to pay for. But hey, I made it, so you can't say I wasn't worth the expense!"

(C) "I would like to thank my parents for all the hard work and resources they devoted to raising me. I know you two weren't happy about all… I asked you to pay for. But hey, I made it, so you can't say I wasn't worth the expense!"

(D) "I would like to thank my parents who… say I wasn't worth the expense… I would not be here accepting the Award for Best Car Commercial Actor if it weren't for you."

Choose the option that is grammatically incorrect.

(A) I wanted to go the movies. But my boyfriend wanted to go to the skate park instead.

(B) If only you could have gone to the school play; Michael really stole the show with his solo as the Phantom of the Opera.

(D) She should have gone to the river with her friends, apparently the water was more refreshing than AC could ever be.

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Punctuation Introduction

Think you know your stuff? CLICK HERE to quiz yourself.

Disclaimer

Quiz Yourself on Punctuation

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