College 101
What matters to you, and why?
The Prompt
What matters to you, and why?
The Essay
Intro
Since I was little, it was always easy to pick me out of a crowd. I was the kid in the wheelchair. Even people who didn't necessarily mean to make me out to be "the other" would identify me this way. While I might prefer to be identified as "the ridiculously handsome one," the fact is the wheelchair is going to be the first thing anyone sees. It saves some time.
Because of this othering, it's very easy to assume my priorities are vastly different than most people. I deal with a good deal of well-meaning, if patronizing, questions about this every day. People wanting to know if a cure for my disease isn't important or what I would give to be "normal." The answer is quite a bit, and I'm not holding my breath.
The tendency is to see the wheelchair and nothing else. To assume this overrides everything else in my psyche. What might surprise you is that what I value is not that much different than what you do. While I might place a higher premium on handicapped parking spaces, the fact is, what matters to me is what matters to you. In short, my friends.
Body
What might be different is the precise way I tend to come to my friends. Sometimes, it's much the same as anyone else. We like the same TV show, we were put next to each other in class, we traded sandwiches at lunch. When you're little, the reasons for friendship can be nearly arbitrary. Those friends who stick around, through commonality or simple inertia, are the ones you treasure.
The difference in these moments for me specifically is that each required a humanizing moment. While it's no great leap to expect that someone else has the same taste in TV for you, it can be for me. The idea that I might like sandwiches and not have to eat bizarre hospital food is a hurdle people need to leap.
As I said, many people see only the wheelchair rather than the person in it. The people who took the time to make the connection with me, no matter how small it may have been, assumed I was human first. They saw the wheelchair, of course, but they didn't see only the wheelchair. They wanted to get to know the person inside.
Not all of these friendships have lasted. Whether they did or not, I treasure those moments of connection. These people matter to me as friends, but more than that. They help me see myself as I truly am. I can fall into depression or self-loathing, but then I remember that there were those who saw, just in a single second, that I was worth more than that.
Conclusion
Seeing my wheelchair isn't a problem. When all they see is the wheelchair, there is a problem. My friends, the people who earned that title with their kindness, are the ones who see past it. Who understand that my character doesn't begin and end with the hardships I face. It shapes me, it does its best to hinder me, but it is not the sole defining trait.
Friends matter to all of us. It's part of being human. We need social bonds with others to stay sane. If possible, they are even more important for me. Friends humanize me, and through their eyes, I'm just part of the gang. I'm a little different, sure, but that's just because I like J.K. Rowling over George R.R. Martin, or prefer Dr. Pepper to Coke.
The best part is that I know it goes both ways. All of my friends, even the ones who present the most "normal" face, have something like my chair. They are all convinced they are only seen as one thing, but true to who they are, they chose not to do that to others. We're all struggling in this strange world, but thanks to my friends, we're not doing it alone.
Why This Essay Works
This essay is a good merger in subject and theme. The writer instantly subverts expectations. They take what supposedly defines them, their physical hardship, and points out that despite this, they are much like anyone else. The entire theme of the essay is wrapped up in this idea. Friendship is valuable to the human race as a whole.
In the body, the student turns to what is different. Namely, that because they are seen according to their hardship (specifically, the use of a wheelchair), they often pick their friends according to those who did not do this. They write eloquently of the simple power in the act of not reacting solely to the most obvious part of them.
The writer mentions specifically that it isn't possible not to see the wheelchair. This is a true component of diversity, the acknowledgment and sometimes celebration of difference, rather than a myopic ignoring of them. What the student wants is for people to see more than that. Their friends have, and this explains why they matter so much to the writer.