PBIS: Integrity and Honesty

Sample Lesson - Introduction

Lesson 1.01: Yourself

 

It's easy for Captain America to have integrity. He's literally a superhero. (Source)

What's integrity? We could tell you that it's defined as sticking to moral and ethical principles, or doing the right thing all the time (source).

But how do you figure out what's right and wrong? That brings us to morality. When you ponder sources for morality, what do you think of? The Bible? The Buddha? Your parents? Those PSA messages tacked to the end of after-school cartoons?

We can't tell you what your own set of morals should be. We don't have all the answers. But we do know that it helps to figure out where you draw the line at morality before trying to act with integrity.

In this lesson, we're going to talk about developing a sense of morality for yourself. Sure, it might pay off with friends or family in the long run, but we're not interested in that just yet. We want to talk about the benefits of integrity for the person you see each time you look in the mirror. (Ahem, yourself.)

We're giving you the secrets to having integrity and acting on it, too. So keep your textbook definitions and lofty concepts. We're about to get practical up in here.

Sample Lesson - Reading

Reading 1.1.01: Integrity in Five Simple Steps

Disclaimer, Shmooper. We say "five simple steps" because writing out the steps (and reading them) is simple. But following them? Um, not so much.

In order to give you a guide on integrity, we've got to use integrity in making that guide... or we'd be hypocrites. Integrity is crazy-hard. In fact, compared to other so-called difficult things like "succeeding" and "making friends" and "folding your laundry before it gets wrinkly," it can seem downright impossible. Especially because it can seem as if there's no tangible reward.

So here goes. Here's our five-step recipe for living life with integrity:

1.  Always do the right thing—even when no one's watching.
2. Take a stand for what you believe in.
3. Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
4. Keep your promises.
5. Know that everyone deserves justice.

We're going to break these down in a tad more detail, because although they sound simple, these steps are actually some of the hardest things to achieve. Fun? No. But good? You bet.

Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right

Okay, we're going to talk about our first two bullet points:

1. Always do the right thing—even when no one's watching.
2. Take a stand for what you believe in.

Life isn't going to throw you easy choices, y'all. Very rarely—if at all—are you going to be faced with a black and white choice to triumph over. "Doing the right thing" isn't usually going to be an issue of, say, saving a cute, fuzzy kitten vs. throwing a cute, fuzzy kitten in the garbage. "Standing up for what you believe in" isn't usually going to be a matter of watching a bully throwing a cute, fuzzy kitten into the garbage and saying "Hey! I believe in the rights of cute, fuzzy kittens the world over!"

Here's a much more realistic scenario: it's Thanksgiving. Your adorable ninety-year-old grandma has just baked her famous pumpkin pie... and suddenly starts spouting some racist/sexist/classist/homophobic/elitest nonsense.

What's the right thing to do in this situation? How do you stand up for what you believe in?

This is where your moral compass comes in. You need to know what's right for you to do in this situation. Do you call out grandma? Do you give her a pass because she's family? Do you treat her with respect because she's old? Do you start a conversation with her on the side? Do you say "Hey, grandma—let's check out a video of some cute, fuzzy kittens instead of continuing this conversation"?

Only you can choose what to do in this situation, because it's up to you to figure out what's right and wrong. That sounds cheesier than a casserole, but it's true.

To put it another way, you've got to determine what your moral scale is. Many people take their cue from their religion. Others look to secular culture to decide what's ethical and fair. Some have a super moralistic friend or mentor who can help out. Some people know Captain America personally.

Listen to your veda, guru, pastor, or mentor. Listen to your mom and dad. Most importantly, listen to yourself. Then evaluate what you're being told. You're the one who has to live with what you're doing, after all. (That being said, some things—unlike the Great Thanksgiving Grandma Question—are universally wrong. If your granny suddenly announced "I've been stealing credit card numbers and buying yachts!" you should call the cops.)

A good rule of thumb is that if you have an unsettled feeling about doing something, it might not be the right thing to do. Chances are, your conscience can be your guide. Just make sure to listen to it.

You Can't Spell Truth Without U

Remember bullet points #3 and #4? Here's a recap:

3. Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
4. Keep your promises.

Integrity goes way beyond telling the truth, but the truth is great place to start.

We all know that it's wrong to lie, but why is it wrong? There are some lies that seemingly don't hurt anybody, like telling your parents you were at home when really, you were over at Jimmy's house playing Metal Gear Solid. And how about promises? Why does it matter that you tell your parents "I promise to study on Thursday," but actually go play Metal Gear Solid with Jimmy?

Here's why: being lied to, and having promises broken, hurts. It hurts like lemon juice on a paper cut. Again: we're sure you've heard this a bajillion times, but some cliches are totally true. Get your empathy on with this one and think of a time you've been lied to, or had someone break their promise to you.

Ugh. Is there anything more humiliating? Is there anything that punches you in the gut in the same way? Finding out you've been lied to makes you feel like a Class A idiot. A dupe. A fool.

And when you lie to someone, there's a good chance they'll find out and also feel like an idiot. You don't want that on your conscience.

Doing What's Right Isn't Easy

Here's the thing about integrity: it can get you in trouble.

You can be grounded for coming clean about not doing your homework. You can be punished for fessing up to the truth and saying "Yeah, Mr. Anderson. I was the one that hid forty chickens in the staff room." You can be mocked.

We like to turn to the history books when our integrity ends up getting us in trouble. The next time you feel like your ego is getting bashed for having integrity, check out the biography of Martin Luther King. Or Gandhi. Or Alice Paul. Or any other number of heroes whose integrity cost them dearly... but also secured them places in the International Integrity Hall Of Fame (which only exists in our imagination, unfortunately).

Integrity is an uphill battle—and, like other battles, leads to scars.

In the Real World

Not having integrity can make it hard to live with yourself. It can also cost millions of people billions of dollars. Thanks, Bernie Madoff, for being the perfect example of a lack of honesty and integrity.

• "Prominent Trader Accused of Defrauding Clients"

Sample Lesson - Activity