Areas Where There are Multiple Streets That Come Together and Converge, Forming a Sort of Circular Street that Wraps Around a Central Island and Has Unique Traffic Rules, Which is Really Just a Circumlocutious Way of Saying “a Roundabout”
Please see the title of this section for a rough definition of “roundabout.” When entering or exiting one of these roundabouts, you must yield to all other traffic. Here are some rules for entering a roundabout:
- Slow down. You move too fast. This is generally good advice any time you are approaching hulking masses of metal that are flying by in a direction perpendicular to your own. The same rule applies for buffalo stampedes.
- Yield to people who are traveling via foot or via cycle. Give one of them a fender bender and they’ll wind up in more than just an auto body shop. Pedestrians’ fenders are a bit more sensitive.
- Watch for signs, but also watch the road. And watch for pedestrians. In fact, it might help you to have eyes in the back of your head. Why don’t you work on that?
- Wait for an opening in traffic, and only proceed into the roundabout when it is absolutely safe to do so. If there are twenty-foot-high flames in front of you, something is probably wrong, and it won’t be safe for a while yet. Try an alternate route.
- Drive counter-clockwise through the roundabout. That’s the opposite of the direction in which the hands of a clock move. But please don’t refer directly to a clock as you are entering a roundabout; that isn’t safe. Eyes on the road.
- Use your turn signals when you are either changing lanes within the roundabout or exiting it. Or when no one else is around but you’re feeling bored.
- If you get lost, confused, or disoriented and accidentally pass up your intended exit, don’t panic and slam on the brakes or anything crazy like that. Simply keeping going ‘round and ‘round until you return, and try to pay a little more attention this time.
- If after driving around in circles you feel dizzy, you are now ready to pick up the baseball bat and take a swing at the donkey piñata. Good luck!