Dude, Where’s My Car?
There are a number of steps you can take to better ensure that some no-good hoodlum will not steal your car.
- Never leave your vehicle running and unattended. While you’re at it, why don’t you also leave the door wide open and attach a note to the windshield that says, “Dear thief: enjoy! You’ll find an uneaten Snickers bar in the glove compartment in case you’re hungry!”
- Don’t leave your keys somewhere that would be easy for a thief to find. “In the ignition” would be an example of a really bad place to leave them. That may be one of the first places they’ll look.
- If you have valuable items in your car, don’t leave them out where a passerby could easily spot them. They may not be interested in that $1,600 car of yours, but that iPod Nano in the back seat may really catch their eye.
- Don’t leave important personal documents or items in an unattended vehicle. This includes the title to your car, credit cards, and that picture you had taken of you with Michele Bachmann. You certainly don’t want that getting into the wrong hands.
- Always keep your windows rolled up and your vehicle locked, no matter how safe you think the area is. Those toddlers may be playing on the monkey bars right now, but the second your back is turned they may jack your car or slice up your leather interior. Kids are evil.
- Whenever possible, be sure to park in well-lit areas. Thieves are less likely to brave something when the place is illuminated. They’re much more likely to try their luck in some darkened, back alley. So, um... don’t park there.
- If your car is stolen, report it immediately to the police. Yeah, the mall closes at nine, but this is a tad more important. What’s that? Oh, sorry—didn’t realize the Penney’s sale ended today. Please disregard.
The following are merely suggestions and not requirements, but they may be the difference between you having one or zero cars to your name:
- Consider installing a device that locks the steering wheel or brakes, such as this one:
This handy-dandy gadget can also be used to beat away attackers or to fish golf balls out of a river.
- Install a vehicle theft tracking system. Probably not necessary if you drive this:
- If you leave your key with someone, such as a mechanic or valet, only hand over the ignition key. If you’re not careful, some unscrupulous individual may take it upon himself or herself to check your mail. Or watch you while you sleep.
- Copy your license plate number and VIN onto a card and keep it on your person. That way, if your car is stolen, you’ll be able to provide that info to the authorities. Better yet, have the info tattooed onto your arm, Memento-style. Leave room for other vehicles you may own in the future.