First of all, it’s spelled B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Second, if you have racked up too many negligent driver points, your license will either be suspended or revoked by the DMV. You can apply for a new license at the end of this period, and hopefully you’ve changed your ways by then. Oh, sure, it starts with a few minor traffic violations here and there, but before you know it you’ll be committing grand larceny, bank fraud, and/or treason. We just don’t want to start seeing your name in the paper. Unless it’s for inventing some useful electronic gadget, or winning a peace prize. That would be pretty cool.

Each time you have a mark on your record, it stays there for five years (the points themselves only stay for two years). Your license can be suspended for 30 days if you accumulate 12-13 points45 days if you accumulate 14-15 points, 60 days if you accumulate 16-17 points, 90 days if you accumulate 18-19 points, or indefinitely if you accumulate 20 or more points. If you can put up 30 points in 42 minutes, you’ll probably make tonight’s highlight reel on ESPN.

Here are a few examples of what can get you points on your driving record:

2-pointers

• Impeding traffic

• Improper entering/exiting trafficway

• Improper lights

• Following too closely

• Improper signal/failure to signal

• More than three passengers in front seat

• Joyriding

• Improper turn/backing/start/stop

• Speeding 5-9mph over the posted limit

• Failure to possess/display proper license/endorsement

3-pointers

• All lane violations

• Speeding 10-14mph over the posted limit

• Driving wrong way on a one-way street

• Driving too fast for conditions

• Failure to yield

• Failure to maintain control/use due care

• Failure to obey traffic light/sign or control device

• Failure to obey a stop sign

• Failure to follow instruction of police officer

• Failure to observe safety zone

• Hazardous/careless driving

• Passing violations

• Littering

• Field goals and any shot made from beyond the 3-point arc

5-pointers

• Speeding 15mph or more over the posted limit

• Rear-ending someone important, like Jennifer Garner

6-pointers

• Hit and run

• Speeding in a school zone

• Reckless driving

8-pointers

• Fleeing a police officer