Absolute Beneficiary

You won! Your Uncle Larry died! You cried for at least ninety seconds, and then began thinking about the fact that you were his absolute beneficiary, and even though you voted for Trump twice, your liberal Uncle Larry could not revoke you as a beneficiary in his trust. He knew about it. He was furious. And in the end, the fact that you would receive all of his hard-earned marijuana distribution business savings, to then likely donate to Republican causes, is probably what killed him. So when you go to church on the weekends, you thank God for absolute beneficiary in your life.