Absolute Value

Ok, ok. You know the mathy absolute value thing from like 5th grade. The absolute value of negative 5 equals positive 5. But that's not really what this is about. Instead, this term is trying to come with with the true, honest, real, and absolute value of a given asset. The term essentially tries to mash up the various valuation techniques of Wall Streety people...like Price-to-Earnings ratios, Enterprise-Value to EBITDA ratios, Discounted Cash Flow models, and on and on and on. And it's all a complete joke. There is no absolute in valuing stocks. Things are fluid. Much more like String Theory and astrology than a number line. So prayer is usually involved. And when you think about Absolute Value, well, when you're done, say, "Amen."

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