Automated Underwriting

A high-tech form of undergarment that automatically provides personal...wait, we misread that.

Okay, we've got it now: automated underwriting. That's a form of computer program that quickly processes loan applications.

Basically, we're relegated to the dustbin of history the olde tyme process of explaining your life's story to an uncaring banking bureaucrat, who weighs your entire financial future while coldly reviewing pay information, savings data and credit scores in an effort to decide whether you qualify as a passable loan risk. Instead, this procedure has been replaced by delivering your life's story to an uncaring banking computer, which weighs your entire financial future while coldly reviewing pay information, savings data and credit scores in an effort to decide whether you qualify as a passable loan risk.