Flat Tax

  

See: Regressive Tax. See: Federal Tax Brackets. See: VAT.

It's flat. It doesn't change. Like...you buy a half gallon of milk for $3 and the sales tax is 25 cents. It's 25 cents whether you're Jeff Bezos or some schmuck working for 32 grand a year at the TSA.

It's a flat tax. That's flat on a unit level...a purchase. But the notion also applies to income tax, where a flat tax would just tax everyone, say, 20% on whatever they earn over, say, 20 grand a year, or something like that. Flat.

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Shmoop and the Bible: Song of Solomon. I'm Cecil B DeShmoop here and today we're

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gonna be talking about the Song of Solomon - that doesn't refer to Solomon's [man stands on stage]

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go to karaoke jam, which by the way is Britney Spears "toxic" - bet you didn't know

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that - and yes it makes everyone in the karaoke bar very uncomfortable. Anyway. We

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all know that the Old Testament is known for being a little, you know fire and [book open]

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brimstone, but Song of Solomon puts the brakes on all that in order to tell [couple picnicking]

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a good old-fashioned love story. And, you might want to put a can next to you. this

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gets sickeningly sweet. So, the Song of Solomon also known as the Song of Songs [man holds can]

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deals with two young people who are deeply in love, but in a super creative [couple watches sunset]

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plot twist her family doesn't approve. The book begins with the bride talking

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about her potential groom it's pretty disgustingly clear that they're in love [couple on a boat]

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but this is actually the first time in the Bible that we see two people in love.

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So, SOS is kind of saying hey guys love can actually exist between people and [couple shares spaghetti]

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it's an awesome God-given gift. I mean sure it can also be seen as a

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representation of God's love for Israel, You know, God equals man, Israel equals [bearded man mails letter]

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woman but I'd like to think God would have penned better lines, "then your neck

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is like the Tower of David built in rows of stone". Yeah like come on that's [ couple talks outside tents]

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definitely a dumb boy's attempt at really flirting. All right. And you know I'm

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speaking from experience here. Well, she says his love is better than wine, which [couple in vineyard]

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is nice and all but my wife once told me that marrying me was the, and I quote,

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"single greatest regret of her life". unquote. Though, you know comparable. Well [couple in a church]

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a lot of the imagery in the poem is based on nature, which is a nice concept

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until you realize that the dude was probably scribbling this last minute. [man writes while running]

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Like, come on check out these choice lines. "Your hair is like a flock of goats" That's really really bad. That was a compliment back then.

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"Your teeth are like a flock of shorn sheep." yeah those things did he just pick out

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random things he saw on the road to her place or what? And, like it's a little

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weird. like why is he so into barnyard animals? hmm hmm

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And anyway back to our couple. Well, the sketchy groom runs to the bride's window [ man approaches building]

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to invite her to escape with him - classic move - and sure they fantasize about it

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but that's about as far as that scene goes. It's g-rated- which is probably

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smart move on her part. Who knows where goat boy's mind might [ couple lays in grass]

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wander. Baaaa. well the next scene comes from a dream the bride has. In it she [girl in bed]

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sees her groom dressed as King Solomon surrounded by tons of servants. It might

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just be one servant who weighs tons, and glad they focus on her dreams and not

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his, all that bleating would give me a headache.

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anyway we then switched to the groom's point of view and we get to hear about [couple argue]

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how great his bride is and how much it stinks that she's so far away. Riveting.

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next we go back to some dreams the bride's having. In one she's dressed as a [woman in costume]

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giant armadillo- we're not making this up people- giant armadillo. And she's singing

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the 12 days of Christmas while people throw bananas at her. Which have appeal.

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and another she can see the groom at her window but she can't get to him. Only one [woman waves from window]

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of those dreams is true, and all right well we'll leave it up to you to decide

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what we made up there. Sorry, just a curveball. All right, well the poem

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continues with the bride describing how attractive her groom is - yikes. [woman writes while sitting under a tree]

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Watch out guys, getting real pg-13 now up in here.

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wonder if someone's being paid by the word for this scintillating tale. Well we

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continue reading about how much these two saps love each other and how

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obsessed they are with each other, and we all know a couple like this. We all hate [man scowls in the corner]

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a couple like. This, we all secretly cackle when that couple breaks up - Angie,

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Brad- some of us don't even secretly cackle. some of us have lost friendships

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over our public cackling. All right, I stand by it. [,man shrugs]

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Anyway as the book comes to a close we see that the bride hasn't disowned her

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protective family, but instead is pleading with them to let her groom into [mother and father pictured]

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the house. they're probably like "well when he's written to you, why is he so into goats?"

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"What's up with that?" Well the book ends with family saying "yeah you're too young

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to get married but we'll help you plan a marriage when [couple at a wedding]

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you come of age ,but for real he's super into goats. Just saying" . All right, well

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it's implied in the bride yelled "you just don't understand our love", and

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and stormed off to her room to pout and listen to whatever mixtapes[girl listens to music]

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the groom had made for her. Well, the books last lines are final declarations

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of love from both the groom and the bride. You can now use that can I told [couple holds hands]

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you to put next to you at the start of this video. Got it all out? Excellent, here

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we go, that's the Song of Solomon. Well I'm off to write my wife a beautiful poem

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I'm thinking it'll go something like your "eyes are like a gang of pigs that [man stands waving arms]

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want to have a street fight against another gang of pigs, your lips are like

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two worms thrashing about in manure " . See, it's romantic gestures like these that

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make my wife Google things like "can a marriage be annulled after 16 years?" [woman scowls]

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