Lobby

Categories: Marketing

The bottom of a hotel? Like...where you pay the cashier, interrupting her from updating her Facebook page?

Eh, okay. It's also about paying politicians' buds for getting their ears. Shaved. And all...listen-y. When you lobby a politician, you hang out in their lobby, and whisper little love-nothings in their ear about policies you want changed. Or rather, those policies that your clients have paid you to help change. That's how you...lobby.

Well, the term got its name from would be friends-of-congressmen and friends-of-senators and friends-of-other-politicos, who would stand around, literally in the lobby of the halls of government, waiting for a muckety-muck to come out and, for the 98 seconds while they were walking down the hall to take a much needed wiz, have their ear chewed off about money needed for a new tattoo removal program, or for a grant for the Montana Sheep Workaholics Anonymous Initiative. Or for a new motorized shoe rack for the First Lady, custom-designed by Tesla itself.

A tickle-weapon builder wants the government to buy a billion bucks worth of tickle bombs from them, to use as an epic April Fool's joke on our Canadian pals up north. Their cost to build? 500 mil. So they make half a billion dollars in operating profits from making this sale.

Question: How much can they afford to pay the lobbyist, a.k.a. the sales guy who will make that deal possible?

Answer: A lot. Like...maybe 499 million.

So it is massively worthwhile for the tickle weapon producer to pay a lobbyist (or 10) a million bucks a year so that they can buy the best lobbyists. And hopefully close that deal.

And it doesn’t just apply to weapons manufacturers. That old age home the congresswoman promised her village? Well, what’s to stop her leaning on the weapons producer to donate a bunch of money to building it…if they win the lucrative tickle bomb contract? Maybe call it Tickle Pines Geriatric Center, with a happy face painted on the Tickle Bomb. Something like that. And the politician muses..."Well, the bombs are going to get made anyway. The contract will happen anyway. At least this way, my grannies will have nice mahjong chairs and a place to die with dignity. And not from being tickled to death."

Related or Semi-related Video

Finance: What are the economics of gover...3 Views

00:00

Finance allah shmoop what are the economics of government lobbying

00:07

Pay lobbyist a siri's of consulting fees They don't make

00:10

a commission hope that they can tilt the balance of

00:13

loved in your direction And then you win a lucrative

00:17

government contract to buy weapons from you Like the self

00:20

guided tickle rocket you know that makes enemies laugh themselves

00:24

to death art least does some nasty stomach cramps Yeah

00:28

all right well then you lather you rinse and you

00:30

repeat So what is a lobbyist anyway Well the term

00:34

got its name from would be friends of congressmen and

00:37

friends of senators and friends of other politicos who would

00:41

stand around literally in the lobby of the halls of

00:44

government waiting for a mucky muck muck to come out

00:47

And for ninety eight seconds while they were walking down

00:50

the hall you know to take a much needed whizz

00:52

have their ear chewed off about money needed for a

00:55

new tattoo removal program or a grant for the montana

01:00

sheep workaholics anonymous initiative or for a new motorized shoe

01:05

rack for the first lady custom designed by tesla itself

01:09

a tickle weapon builder wants the government to buy a

01:11

billion bucks worth of tickle bombs from them tio use

01:14

as an epic april fool's joke on our canadian kyle's

01:18

up north there cost to build five hundred mil so

01:21

they make half a billion dollars in operating profits from

01:24

this sale Well how much can they afford to pay

01:26

the lobbyist A k a the sales guy who will

01:29

make that deal possible Answer a lot like maybe four

01:33

hundred ninety nine million dollars and they don't actually pay

01:36

him a commission that would be illegal These air just

01:39

set up as consulting contracts to you know leverage his

01:43

role attacks and all the people that lobbyists knew for

01:46

years and years and years So it is massively worth

01:49

a while for the tickle weapon producer to pay a

01:52

lobbyist or ten of them a million bucks a year

01:54

in consulting fees so that you know the company wins

01:58

that lucrative government contract and closes the deal and it

02:02

doesn't just apply to a weapons manufacturers that old age

02:05

home congresswoman promised her village Yeah well what's to stop

02:10

her leaning on the weapons producer to donate a bunch

02:13

of money to building it if the weapons producer wins

02:17

That lucrative tickle bomb contract Well maybe call it tickle

02:21

pines geriatric center with a happy face painted on the

02:24

tickle bomb says peace under it Yeah something like that

02:28

and the politician muses And while the bombs are going

02:30

to get made anyway the contract will happen anyway At

02:34

least this way my granny's will have nice massage chairs

02:37

and a place to die with dignity and not from

02:40

being tickled to death Welcome to lobby Come on down 00:02:43.205 --> [endTime] take a hot shower

Find other enlightening terms in Shmoop Finance Genius Bar(f)