Material News

See: Insider Trading.

You overhear the CFO of Tesla mumbling about a takeover. You recognize her from her magazine covers. (She used to be a World Wide Wrestling star.) It turns out, it seems, that Apple is, in fact, buying Tesla to build iCars that are basically KITT from Knight Rider. This is material news to both TSLA and to AAPL. You now have material inside info.

You can't buy (or short) either stock or really do anything with them. You can't tell a friend. You can't hint to a friend. You can't do really anything with this material news other than keep your mouth shut...unless you really want to date Bubba behind bars, and think stripes on you are slimming.