As You Like It: Act 5, Scene 1 Translation

Enter Touchstone and Audrey.

TOUCHSTONE We shall find a time, Audrey. Patience,
gentle Audrey.

AUDREY Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the
old gentleman’s saying.

TOUCHSTONE A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most 5
vile Martext. But Audrey, there is a youth here in
the forest lays claim to you.

AUDREY Ay, I know who ’tis. He hath no interest in me
in the world.

Enter William.

Here comes the man you mean. 10

TOUCHSTONE It is meat and drink to me to see a clown.
By my troth, we that have good wits have much to
answer for. We shall be flouting. We cannot hold.

WILLIAM Good ev’n, Audrey.

AUDREY God gi’ good ev’n, William. 15

WILLIAM, to Touchstone And good ev’n to you, sir.

TOUCHSTONE Good ev’n, gentle friend. Cover thy head,
cover thy head. Nay, prithee, be covered. How old
are you, friend?

WILLIAM Five-and-twenty, sir. 20

TOUCHSTONE A ripe age. Is thy name William?

WILLIAM William, sir.

TOUCHSTONE A fair name. Wast born i’ th’ forest here?

WILLIAM Ay, sir, I thank God.

TOUCHSTONE “Thank God.” A good answer. Art rich? 25

WILLIAM ’Faith sir, so-so.

TOUCHSTONE “So-so” is good, very good, very excellent
good. And yet it is not: it is but so-so. Art thou wise?

WILLIAM Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.

TOUCHSTONE Why, thou sayst well. I do now remember 30
a saying: “The fool doth think he is wise, but the
wise man knows himself to be a fool.” The heathen
philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape,
would open his lips when he put it into his mouth,
meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and 35
lips to open. You do love this maid?

WILLIAM I do, sir.

TOUCHSTONE Give me your hand. Art thou learned?

WILLIAM No, sir.

TOUCHSTONE Then learn this of me: to have is to have. 40
For it is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being poured
out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth
empty the other. For all your writers do consent
that ipse is “he.” Now, you are not ipse, for I am he.

WILLIAM Which he, sir? 45

TOUCHSTONE He, sir, that must marry this woman.
Therefore, you clown, abandon—which is in the
vulgar “leave”—the society—which in the boorish
is “company”—of this female—which in the common
is “woman”; which together is, abandon the 50
society of this female, or, clown, thou perishest; or,
to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit, I kill
thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death,
thy liberty into bondage. I will deal in poison with
thee, or in bastinado, or in steel. I will bandy with 55
thee in faction. I will o’errun thee with policy. I
will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways. Therefore
tremble and depart.

AUDREY Do, good William.

WILLIAM, to Touchstone God rest you merry, sir. 60

He exits.

Enter Corin.

CORIN Our master and mistress seeks you. Come away,
away.

TOUCHSTONE Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey.—I attend, I
attend.

They exit.