- We look out onto an open space that's away from the family house. It looks like Mrs. Saunders wants to ride away in the middle of the night. Clive catches up with her though and begs her not to leave. He says it's not safe and tries to scare her into staying.
- When he's done with the scare tactics, Clive tries some of the ol' manly charm on Mrs. Saunders. He compliments her by saying that he's had an erection for twenty-fours hours a day ever since the two of them had sex. Wait, what?!? Yeah, there's some more sexual shock for you.
- Mrs. Saunders, of course, decides to go the glib route and tells Clive it's impossible to sustain an erection for that long. True facts.
- Next, Clive decides to take his flirting up a notch. He tells Mrs. Saunders that if cannibals shot her with poisoned arrows, he'd have sex with her dead body and die of poisoning himself. It ain't exactly Romeo and Juliet he's riffing off at this point, but it sure is vivid.
- Finally, Clive starts to reach under Mrs. Saunders's skirt. She tells him she doesn't like him. She just likes feeling safe in his house because he has lots of guns. In other words, she feels like he's blackmailing her into sex.
- Clive stays under her skirt until he has an orgasm, then tells her that they'd better get to the family's Christmas picnic. Remember it's Africa, so it's still super hot even at Christmas.
- Once they're gone, Betty and her mother Maud show up onstage with the kids. Soon, Clive comes back and they're all together again.
- Clive makes a toast to Queen Victoria and her glorious reign over half the world (you know, because of colonization).
- Betty and the governess Ellen start playing catch with a ball.
- But the son Edward tells them they're no good at it and takes the ball. The men play with the ball instead while the women sit on the sidelines and clap. Yeah, that's some straight up sexism.
- While the men play catch, Edward gets frustrated that he can't catch properly and throws the ball away. He blames his own mistake on Joshua. Clive says that the game is over, but Edward begs him to keep playing. Clive tells Edward that he'll never be any good at cricket, which is a mean thing to say.
- To cut the tension, grandma Maud suggests that everyone play hide-and-seek. Edward thinks this is a baby game. But when Harry Bagley says he'll gladly play and be "it," Edward decides that hide-and-seek is a great idea.
- Once everyone has run off, Harry tells Clive how much it means to him to be spending time with Clive's family at Christmas. He says that the true work of the Empire isn't planting flags in far-off places. It's raising a good, wholesome family. By the time he's finished with this little speech, Clive reminds him that he's counted long enough and that it's time to go looking for people.
- Once Harry runs off, Clive is left alone with Joshua. Clive tells Joshua that he's lucky to know Harry, whose name will one day be in history books.
- Joshua takes the opportunity to let Clive know that the Africans working in Clive's stable are conspiring with the local villagers. He also says that these men carry knives. Clive thanks Joshua for his loyalty and says that he'll deal with these people personally.
- Before they part, Joshua also tries to tell Clive about Betty having a thing with Harry, but Clive doesn't listen.
- After Clive and Joshua leave, Harry comes running in with Betty. He says he's caught her at hide-and-seek. But she dives back into romance mode and asks him what they're going to do about their love for each other. She wants to know if the two of them can run away together. Before Harry can answer, though, Betty's mother Maud walks in saying she's been stung by an insect.
- Harry leaves Betty and Maud alone, and the two of them just sit in silence until Edward comes racing back with Harry. Edward says Harry didn't get back to "home base " in time to catch him, but Harry argues the opposite. He and Edward run off to look for more people together.
- Again, Betty and Maud are alone. Maud calls Betty out for being in love with Harry and says it's just not right. Betty tells her to mind her own business.
- When Harry comes back again, Betty not-so-subtly hints that Maud should go back into the house to rest her insect bite (in other words, stop being a third wheel, Mom). Harry offers to take Maud back to the house, but Betty asks him to stay. Instead, she sends Joshua to do it.
- When Joshua and Maud are gone, Harry makes another romantic speech to Betty. Then he leaves.
- Next thing we know, Harry is back in the forest calling for Edward. Edward tells Harry he can't sleep at night because he's afraid of the local villagers. He asks Harry if he can come see him in his bed when he can't sleep.
- Then Edward gets into intense details about the fantasies he has about exploring the African jungle with Harry. He dreams of rescuing Harry from a crocodile, dragging him onto a riverbank, and lying in his arms. And you probably know where this is starting to go…
- Edward pulls out a necklace he stole from his mother's jewelry box and tries to give it to Harry as a present. Harry tells him to put it back. Edward comes out and says he loves Harry, and Harry says he loves him back.
- And just in case you were thinking that this was an innocent, Platonic type of love, Edward starts talking about what he and Harry did together the last time Harry was visiting. He basically says that he and Harry touched one another sexually and that he wishes they could do it again. Harry says that what they're doing is a sin, but they'll do it anyway.
- Edward says that he wishes his whole family were killed so he could just be with Harry. Then he asks Harry to take "it" out for him because he wants to touch "it." Anyone starting to squirm in their seats?
- Finally, the two of them decide to go look for the others. Betty comes onstage with the governess Ellen and asks her what she thinks of Harry. Ellen also knows that Betty is into Harry. Edward comes rushing onstage and yells that he found Betty and Ellen. But the two of them argue that they aren't playing anymore.
- Betty comes out and tells Ellen that she's downright in love with Harry Bagley and that she wants to run away with him. As she keeps talking, Ellen starts making a move on her. Yup, that's happening now.
- Ellen finally kisses Betty and tells her that she's in love with her.
- Everyone runs back onstage as Betty and Ellen hug each other. Joshua ends the scene by singing a Christmas carol about being poor and still wanting to give a gift to the baby Jesus.