How we cite our quotes: (Letter.Section.Paragraph)
Quote #1
Children seem to think every pleasant thing has to be a surprise. (1.8.5)
Every parent knows what this means. Never try to guess what a child wants to show you before he or she shows you.
Quote #2
That is how life goes—we send our children into the wilderness. (1.8.10)
Parents do what they can to raise their children right, but in the end, the children grow up, leave home, and go their own ways. Away from the order of the household. Away from the parents' direct influence. This is the wilderness.
Quote #3
He said he couldn't stay for supper. You were disappointed, as I believe your mother was also. (1.8.11)
Throughout the novel, Ames struggles with jealousy. He (wrongly) believes that Jack is waiting him out, planning to marry Lila once Ames has died, just as Ames's congregation wants to build a new church once he's gone into the ground.
Quote #4
Great faith is required to give the child up, trusting God to honor the parents' love for him by assuring that there will indeed be angels in the wilderness. (1.11.9)
Ames has to hope that his son will find "angels in the wilderness"—in other words, good formative influences. He'll be sent into the wilderness much sooner than Ames would like, considering the fact that Ames himself isn't much longer for this world and won't be able to take care of his son himself.
Quote #5
…it is a consistent example of parents in the Bible that they honor their children. (1.12.11)
Is this statement by Ames accurate? Even if it's not, we can see that Ames has chosen to focus on examples of good parents in the Bible, and that shows that Ames is very concerned with parenting and doing the right thing for his son.
Quote #6
The truth is, as I stood there in the pulpit, looking down on the three of you, you looked to me like a handsome young family, and my evil old heart rose within me, the old covetise I have mentioned elsewhere came over me, and I felt the way I used to feel when the beauty of other lives was a misery and an offense to me. (1.14.1)
Because of his age and the unusual situation of his marriage, Ames struggles to see his marriage as a great thing for his wife and son. When he sees Jack with his family, appearing to be a good father figure—even a better or at least more appropriate father figure—Ames just can't even with that.
Quote #7
But his family was so well respected that he got away with it all. That is to say, he was allowed to go right in disgracing his family. (1.15.132)
Jack may have gotten away with his youthful bad antics, but there were always consequences, even if he couldn't see them. He couldn't see that he hurt his family, for example. He certainly feels somewhat responsible for his daughter's death, at any rate.
Quote #8
John Ames Boughton is my son. If there is any truth at all in anything I believe, that is true also. By "my son" I mean another self, a more cherished self. That language isn't sufficient, but for the moment it is the best I can do. (1.16.3)
Jack—John Ames—Boughton was named for Ames, but Ames has never taken to him, never liked him, never trusted him. This is the moment when Ames can finally embrace Jack as a son—when he first knows what it means to love him.
Quote #9
"We are married in the eyes of God, as they say." (2.21.24)
Jack is married by common law, not civil law. He and Della present themselves as husband and wife, but they're not legally married. Nor can they marry, in some states, due to laws against interracial marriages.
Quote #10
"I can't really ask her to make a final break with her family under the circumstances." (2.21.27)
Jack can't provide for Della, so in his mind he can't ask Della to leave her family. She would have no support. He feels he can't become Della's new family until he is able to take care of her as well her own family can.