How we cite our quotes: Chapter.Paragraph
Quote #1
What are you thinking, Amy? The question I've asked most often during our marriage, if not out loud, if not to the person who could answer. I suppose these questions stormcloud over every marriage: What are you thinking? How are you feeling? Who are you? What have we done to each other? What will we do? (1.3)
Maybe every marriage brings these questions into the picture, but not every marriage is as messed up as Nick and Amy's. The fact that he's wondering these things on page one of the novel gives us a clear introduction to the state of their relationship: Nick has no idea who Amy is.
Quote #2
There's something disturbing about recalling an old memory and feeling utterly cold. (1.25)
Here's what's disturbing about it: Nick's relationship with Amy is "utterly cold" itself. With virtually no positive associations with his wife in the present day, old memories don't carry the warmth they should. The fact that there's no going back to the past makes it painful to remember.
Quote #3
For our anniversary, [Amy] always set up an elaborate treasure hunt, with each clue leading to the hiding place of the next clue until I reached the end, and my present. It was what her dad always did for her mom on their anniversary, and don't think I don't see the gender roles here, that I don't get the hint. But I did not grow up in Amy's household. I grew up in mine, and the last present I remember my dad giving my mom was an iron, set on the kitchen counter, no wrapping paper. (3.26)
When people get married, they bring all kinds of baggage into the relationship, including what their own parents' relationships taught them about marriage. Amy seems to have unrealistic expectations of what a long-term relationship is like, probably because her parents have a bond that couples rarely maintain after twenty-five years of marriage. Nick, as the child of divorced parents and an abusive father, has seen something far different.
And the moral of the story is this: Nick and Amy's very different past experiences create expectations on Amy's part that are impossible for Nick to fulfill.