How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
Scarlett O'Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her charm as the Tarleton twins were. (1.1)
This is the first line of the novel, and it immediately equates femininity with deception or artificiality. Scarlett is not really beautiful, but she charms men into thinking she is. At the same time as it associates Scarlett with feminine duplicity, it also suggests she's not really feminine—and Scarlett not really being feminine is a major theme of the rest of the novel as well.
Quote #2
Scarlett wanted very much to be like her mother. The only difficulty was that by being just and truthful and tender and unselfish, one missed most of the joys of life, and certainly many beaux. (3.119)
For Scarlett, being like her mother is being feminine and ladylike. Scarlett aspires to be like that, but doesn't really like it. Femininity is kind of a drag.
Quote #3
There was no one to tell Scarlett that her own personality…was more attractive than any masquerade she might adopt. Had she been told, she would have been pleased but unbelieving. And the civilization of which she was a part would have been unbelieving too, for at no time, before or since, had so low a premium been placed on feminine naturalness. (4.56)
Mitchell is able to see that the South restricted white women, even if she can't see the way it restricted black people. Note too that the "low premium placed on feminine naturalness" here only applies to white women. Black women were not meant to be artificial, nor, for that matter, attractive. Scarlett flirts and flits, but Mammy is presented as utterly asexual.