Hephaestus (Vulcan)
Hephaestus (Vulcan)
Hephaestus (Vulcan) is the god of fire, blacksmiths, stonemasons, technology, and volcanoes. Interestingly, he is also one of the very few gods who isn't a hottie. He's been called all sorts of things: short, misshapen, ugly, lame… It's enough to make a guy feel insecure. And insecure he is. His looks caused his mom, Hera, to toss him off of Mount Olympus when he was born, they caused Athena to reject his advances, and they cause his ultra-gorgeous wife, Aphrodite, to constantly cheat on him. Hephaestus may not be good looking, but he's famous for making beautiful and fabulous things. Aphrodite's girdle, Eros' bow and arrows of love, Achilles' impenetrable armor, and the sun-chariot of Helios are all the products of Hephaestus' forge.
Basic Information
| Name | Hephaestus |
| Nickname | Vulcan, Vulcanus, Hephy, Mr. Smith |
| Sex | Male |
| Current city | Mount Olympus, though the island of Lemnos is like a second home |
Work & Education
| Occupation | God of Fire, Blacksmiths, Craftsmen, Technology, and Volcanoes |
| Education | Self-taught |
Beliefs
| Political views | I'm a Zeusian |
| Religious views |
Family & Friends (& Enemies)
| Parents | Zeus (dad) and Hera (mom), or maybe Hera by herself, but she isn't much of a mom to me |
| Siblings | Hebe, Ares, Eileithayia, Typhaon, The Kharites |
| Children | Erichthonius (by Gaia) Pandora (sort of… I made her) |
| Friends | Orion |
| Enemies | Hera, my "loving" mother Ares, my wife's lover |
Relationships
| Relationship status | Married (unhappily) to Aphrodite |
| Interested in | My wife (but she's not interested in me) |
Favorites
| Quotations | "Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one." – Bill Gates "Armor, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith." – Ambrose Bierce "The smith, a mighty man is he, With large and sinewy hands; And the muscles of his brawny arms Are strong as iron bands." – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, "The Village Blacksmith" "Don't dance on a volcano." – French Proverb "There is nothing more humiliating than loving someone so much that you forgive the infidelities." – Princess Diana "When you're a carpenter making a beautiful chest of drawers, you're not going to use a piece of plywood on the back, even though it faces the wall and nobody will ever see it. You'll know it's there, so you're going to use a beautiful piece of wood on the back." – Steve Jobs |
| Books | Percy Jackson and the Olympians and The Heroes of Olympus series by Rick Riordan The Geeks Shall Inherit The Earth by Alexandra Robbins The Time Machine by H.G. Wells When Your Lover is a Liar by Susan Forward I, Robot by Isaac Asimov Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy Make magazine Great Expectations by Charles Dickens A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving Backyard Blacksmith by Lorelei Sims Fire and Ice by Robert Frost |
| Music | What Goes Around by Justin Timberlake Forget You by Cee Lo Green Lovefool by The Cardigans Volcano by Jimmy Buffet Your Cheatin' Heart by Hank Williams Mother by John Lennon I Heard It Through The Grapevine by Marvin Gaye Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash |
| Movies | Revenge of the Nerds Napoleon Dynamite Iron Man Beauty and the Beast The Hunchback of Notre Dame WALL-E Joe Versus the Volcano Dante's Peak The Elephant Man Star Wars The X-Men movies Terminator 2: Judgment Day |
| TV Shows | Made In America Build It Bigger Flying Anvils |
Activities & Interests
| Likes | Flame throwers Monster trucks Volcanic eruptions Power tools Fireworks Video games LEGOs Ugly dolls |
| Activities | Forging things out of metal Submitting patents for my latest inventions Playing Ratchet & Clank Playing the Portal games Building stuff in Minecraft Playing Dwarf Fortress Playing Pixel Junk Monsters Chasing after my cheating wife |
| Interests | Blacksmithing Metallurgy Technology Robotics Volcanology and plate tectonics |
| Groups | Gods and Goddesses of Olympus Modern Blacksmiths of America Volcano Lovers United Auto Workers Victims of Infidelity Support Group Nerds of Olympus |