Barry Morris Goldwater is born to Baron and JoJo in Phoenix, part of the Arizona Territory.
The Arizona Territory makes the United States its Valentine by officially becoming the 48th state in the union.
Barry G graduates from Staunton Military Academy in Virginia and turns down a spot at West Point to attend the University of Arizona in Tucson and be closer to his ailing dad.
Barry's dad Baron passes away. Barry decides to drop out of the U of A and move back to Phoenix to take care of the family and the family business.
Barry Goldwater marries his GF, Margaret Johnson from Muncie, Indiana.
Goldwater is named president… of Goldwater's Department Stores.
The Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor in Hawaii on December 7th, 1941 catapults the United States into World War II. Barry joins the U.S. Air Forces and becomes a ferry pilot, staying on as a reservist and guardsman long after the war ended in 1945.
A Democratic Party runoff election in Texas catapults Lyndon Johnson into the U.S. Senate. This specific election is one of the worst cases of voter fraud the country had seen. Johnson was set to lose the election by a measly 87 votes when, all of a sudden, 202 mysterious "last-minute" ballots were found. 200 of those were votes for LBJ, and they were all written in the same ink and had apparently been submitted in alphabetical order. Nope, nothing shady about that…
Barry Goldwater runs for—and wins—his first political office and becomes Vice Chairman of the City Council of Phoenix.
Goldwater is elected to the U.S. Senate in a landslide.
In a landmark ruling, the U.S. Supreme Court declares segregated public facilities as a violation of the Equal Protection Clause of the 14th Amendment and thus unconstitutional. Goldwater didn't believe in segregation, but was not supportive of the Brown decision dictating the law of the land.
Goldwater's book The Conscience of a Conservative is published, and the crowd loses… its… mind.
Barry Goldwater is nominated for POTUS during the Republican National Convention, but he withdraws his name, telling folks there was some work to be done in the GOP.
John F. Kennedy is elected POTUS over Richard Nixon, and he selects LBJ as his Veep.
The Bay of Pigs Invasion goes down as one of the CIA's greatest fails. Barry G loses a bit more faith in JFK's Presidency.
A "secret" meeting of a couple dozen Republicans in Chicago happens. Participants discuss how badly they want Barry Goldwater to run for President. This secret club eventually turns into the Draft Goldwater Committee, the group that sorta kinda forced Barry G into the election.
MLK Jr. gives his iconic "I Have a Dream" speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C.
Lyndon Johnson becomes President after JFK is assassinated in Dallas, Texas.
As the nation continues its shocked mourning, LBJ addresses Congress and pledges to stay the course set by President Kennedy. Liberals cheer, conservatives sigh.
Senator Barry Goldwater officially announces he's running for president.
LBJ signs the 1964 Civil Rights Act into law after it was passed by the House and Senate. Barry Goldwater, a couple dozen other Senators, and about 30% of the House (both Republicans and Democrats, BTW) voted against the bill.
Goldwater accepts the Republican presidential nomination and gives a speech that turns the liberals' hair white (and maybe some conservatives' hair too).
LBJ's infamous "Daisy Girl" ad airs once, and only once, on NBC, thus unleashing a tidal wave of negative political campaign ads that has yet to subside.
Barry Goldwater loses the presidential election to Lyndon Johnson in a landslide.
LBJ gives the famed "Great Society speech" that turns all the conservatives' hair white (and maybe a few liberals' hairs, too).
With approval ratings that were worse than reviews of Twilight, LBJ announces he will not seek reelection.
Richard Nixon wins the presidency, defeating Democratic nominee and current VP Hubert Humphrey. In Arizona, Barry Goldwater wins reelection to the Senate and heads back to Washington.
Goldwater and a few buddies go to the White House to tell President Nixon that he does not have enough support among Congress to avoid getting impeached after the Watergate fiasco.
President Nixon resigns.
Senator Goldwater makes headlines after delivering a blistering Senate speech criticizing the Moral Majority of forgetting about that separation-of-church-and-state idea that the Constitution seems to like so much.
Senator Goldwater undergoes triple bypass surgery and gives up cheeseburgers forever. Previously, he'd eaten a big ol' cheeseburger every single day for lunch. Every. Single. Day. For years and years.
The notorious BG officially retires from the U.S. Senate and heads back to AZ for some sunshine and decent Mexican food.
Goldwater calls for the resignation of shady Arizona Governor Evan Mecham, which causes all kinds of hoopla in the Republican Party.
Barry is honored by the Arizona Human Rights Fund, the state's #1 gay and lesbian rights organization, for his support of gays in the military and of gay rights in general.
Barry goes to the doctor and finds out he's had a minor stroke; they decide to hospitalize him. His hospital stay included visits from political stars like Bob Dole, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton.
Barry Goldwater dies at his home in Paradise Valley, Arizona at age 89.