If I Ran the Zoo Rules and Order Quotes

How we cite our quotes: (Stanza.Line)

Quote #1

So I'd open each cage. I'd unlock every pen, / Let the animals go, and start over again. (4.1-2)

Only in someone's daydream could you break this rule. Those cages exist for a reason, McGrew. Seriously.

Quote #2

I'll load up five boats with a family of Joats / Whose feet are like cows', but wear squirrel-skin coats / And sit down like dogs, but have voices like goats — (13.1-3)

In an adult's world, the rules state that these animals need to be separate. But to a child, you can mix-and-match creatures all you want. Same goes for dessert bars, socks, and sodas.

Quote #3

I'll capture a deer that no hunter would shoot. / A deer that's so nice he could sleep in your bed / If it weren't for those horns that he has on his head. (15.2-4)

Now that's creating your own rules. We've meet some hunters in our day, and that deer is going to have to be pretty cute. (By the by, it totally is.)

Quote #4

In the Far Western part / Of south-east North Dakota / Lives a very fine animal / Called the Iota. (18.1-4)

Someone might tell you there is no Iota in North Dakota, but why follow their rules when you can follow McGrew's? He even has Iotas in South Carolina.

Quote #5

A zoo should have bugs, so I'll capture a Thwerll / Whose legs are snarled up in a terrible snarl. (21.1-2)

The Thwerll breaks all the rules of nature. Just look at that guy. We can't even fathom how he gets around. What does he eat (does he eat)?