How we cite our quotes: Citations follow this format: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
"What do you want me to do?" Amatokwu asked. "I am a busy man. I have no time to waste my precious male seed on a woman who is infertile. I have to raise children for my line."....
"I will do my duty by you. I will come to your hut when my wife starts nursing her child. But now, if you can't produce sons, at least you can help harvest yams." (3.45;47)
It is Amatokwu's duty to produce heirs, and it is Nnu Ego's duty, as a wife, to provide the means by which heirs are produced. Because she is failing in her duty, Amatokwu is unwilling to waste any of his time on her. He will do his duty, but only when he has abundance of time.
Quote #2
"Pity your ideal Amatokwu almost beat you to death because you did not bear him a son. Look at yourself—you look pregnant to me, and you were not like that when you came here. What else does a woman want? I've given you a home and, if all goes well, the child you and your father have been wanting, and you still sit there staring at me with hatred in your eyes. The day you mention Amatokwu's name in this house again I shall give you the greatest beating you have ever had. You spoilt, selfish woman! You who put Amatokwu's manhood in question so that he had to marry again quickly and have many children in quick succession. Now you come here, where I did not particularly press you to be pregnant in the first month, and you talk this foolishness." (4.53)
Just like women have a duty to bear men sons, men have a duty to give their wives children, otherwise their manhood is in question as well.
Quote #3
Nnu Ego laughed with them, and she knew then that, had they lived in times gone by when families used to stay together, several generations living and dying on the same portion of land, Okpo's children would never suffer. For she saw the look of childish love that went from her son to this young girl his father had married. If it had been that time, If Nnaife should die, Okpo would never need to go back to her people, because on a day like this, she had given the boy Adim the spontaneous reaction which he needed and which said: "Well done. We know you will do your duty by us when you grow up." (16.71)
Okpo shows Adim his duty in the traditional culture. Nnu Ego is glad that he is learning the lesson, even while she sees that they no longer live within a traditional culture.
Quote #4
"Now, young man, when are you going to take on your family responsibilities? Have you not sense enough to know that a father shouldn't have to ask that of his son, he should do it automatically?"
"What responsibilities, Father?"
Nnaife's bottled-up wrath exploded, and he thundered: "Adim! Nnamdio! You two come here." He turned back to Oshia. "These are your responsibilities, to say nothing of myself and your mother, who still carries firewood like a paid carrier."
"I don't understand, Father. You mean I should feed them and you too? But you are alive and well and still working—" (17.24-26)
In this short conversation between Nnaife and Oshia, we see the clash of traditional Ibo ideas of a son's responsibility with westernized versions of a son's responsibility. Oshia sees no reason why he should support his father when his father is perfectly capable of working himself. Nnaife sees no reason why he should continue to work when his son is perfectly capable of supporting him. At the same time, we see that Adim and Nnamdio's education is dependent on Oshia's willingness to help them out. The family has sacrificed everything – and even gone without food – so that Oshia could be educated. They all expected him to help them. And now Oshia has zero desire to help his less fortunate younger brothers and sisters.
Quote #5
Nnaife did not go to see Oshia off on the day he left for the United States. Nnu Ego, Okpo, Adim and several of their friends went to the airport to wave him goodbye. It left an emptiness in Nnu Ego's heart that was hard to communicate. Please God, teach him to be used to being alone, for a person like Oshia who put ambition first at the expense of his family was always a loner, Nnu Ego thought as she returned home dry-eyed. Friends and well-wishers were surprised to see that she did not cry; and when they predicted that soon her son would be back and driving her about in a big car, she knew that they had all missed the point. She was not destined to be such a mother. She realized that now. Her joy was to know that she had brought up her children when they had started out with nothing, and that those same children might rub shoulders one day with the great men of Nigeria. That was the reward she expected. (17.43)
Even as Nnu Ego reflects that Oshia doesn't do his duty to his family, her friends think that she is expecting him to do his duty in a flashy, showy way when he's finally done with his education.
Quote #6
It had always been the boys who had caused the headaches, because they would always be members of the Owulum family. The part of the daughters was to be of little trouble and allow themselves to be used by their family until they were transferred to their men. (17.78)
It is a daughter's duty to be well behaved and never to give her parents trouble, because she will belong to another family someday. She is supposed to work hard for her family first, and then work hard for her husband's family. But the boys can give their parents trouble because it is their wives who will be coming and doing the hard work in the family someday.
Quote #7
Nnu Ego smiled. "How can he [Oshia] help us when he is not in his country? He probably does not have enough to eat….So why do you have to worry Oshia when he is not in a position to help? I don't want him to worry or to think that he brought all this on us. When you reply tell him that we all love him and that we all pray for him too."
For the first time since he was young Adim—the tough boy, as they used to call him—broke down and cried. "Mother, you say you'll pray for him? Mother, he started all this. He did, and nobody else. It was anger over him that made our father lose his sense of direction." (18.8-9)
Adim recognizes that it was Oshia's selfishness in letting his family pay for his education when they were hard pressed to do so, and his unwillingness now to help them when they've fallen on hard times, that have caused Nnaife to go off the deep end. But Nnu Ego can't see it because she refuses to see that Oshia is selfish.
Quote #8
"Don't blame anyone for what has happened to your father. Things have changed drastically since the days of his own youth, but he has refused to see the changes. I tried to warn him…but, no matter. The fact is that parents get only reflected glory from their children nowadays, whereas your father invested in all of you, just as his father invested in him so that he could help on the farm. Your father forgot that he himself left the family farm to come to this place. He could only help when he was well settled in a good job. For you, the younger generation, it's a different kind of learning. It also takes longer and costs more. I'm not sure that I'm not beginning to like it. My only regret is that I did not have enough money to let the girls stay at school. So don't' blame your brother for anything. And don't forget Oshia is my son, just like you. Some fathers, especially those with many children from different wives, can reject a bad son, a master can reject his evil servant, a wife can even leave a bad husband, but a mother can never, never reject her son. If he is damned, she is damned with him….So go and wash, put on your clean school uniform and hold your chin up. I shall see to it that your fees are paid before we leave. After that I'm afraid, son, your life is in your own hand and those of your chi."
"Thank you, Mother," Adim said simply, and he determined to do well in his forthcoming examination. (18.12-13)
Nnu Ego has sacrificed mightily to give her children an education, expecting they would take care of her someday. But now she sees that traditions have changed, that the education she has given her children is different than the kind of training children used to get. Likewise, she can no longer expect her children to see their duties towards her in the same way, but she refuses to be angry with them. They are her children, and her duty towards them is to always love them, and to always sacrifice for them. Yet she also inadvertently recognizes that Nnaife didn't help his family in the traditional way – the way he now expects his sons to help – because he came to Lagos instead.
Quote #9
"Well, your second son is at St Gregory's. Who pays his fees?"
"I do, I pay his fees with the profits I make from selling firewood and other things."
There was a suppressed ripple of laugher in the court.
"But your husband told us he pays the school feels, how is that?"
"Yes, he pays the school feels."
"Do you mean the two of you pay Adim's school fees?"
"No, I pay."
The laughter that followed this could no longer be suppressed. Even the judge smiled unwillingly.
"Mrs Owulum, will you please explain."
"Nnaife is the head of our family. He owns me, just like God in the sky owns us. So even though I pay the fees, yet he owns me. So in other words he pays."
"Oh, I see. And you clothe and sometimes feed the family, too?"
Nnu Ego nodded, not knowing that with that one nod, she had nailed the last nail in Nnaife's coffin. It became clear that she was doing nearly all the providing…(18.43-54)
Though Nnu Ego doesn't yet see it, the court is suggesting that Nnaife hasn't done his duty as a husband or father. The court recognizes that he has failed to provide for his children.
Quote #10
When her children heard of her sudden death they all, even Oshia, came home. They were all sorry she had died before they were in a position to give their mother a good life. She had the noisiest and most costly second burial Ibuza had ever seen, and a shrine was made in her name, so that her grandchildren could appeal to her should they be barren.
Stories afterwards, however, said that Nnu Ego was a wicked woman even in death because, however many people appealed to her to make women fertile, she never did. Poor Nnu Ego, even in death she had no peace! Still, many agreed that she had given all to her children. The joy of being a mother was the joy of giving all to your children, they said.
And her reward? Did she not have the greatest funeral Ibuza had never seen? It took Oshia three years to pay off the money he had borrowed to show the world what a good son he was. That was why people failed to understand why she did not answer their prayers, for what else could a woman want but to have sons who would give her a decent burial?
Nnu Ego had it all, yet still did not answer prayers for children. (18.119-122)
Nnu Ego's children do their duty by their mother at long last, but she does not do her duty as an ancestor. She does not answer her descendents prayers.